Dining on Ashes
by Adamantwrites
Summary: A romance with many complications; how will Adam win the heart of a woman who doesn't want him or will he decide she's just not worth the effort? Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. All original characters are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Hop Sing had gone into town to spend the weekend with his second cousin who just happened to run a fan-tan game in the back of his herbal shop. The front door of the house was unlocked and the lights were on inside; a cool spring evening was falling and the front window was open so Ben knew that Adam was home. Ben walked in and the fire was going and Adam was sitting, reading.

Adam turned his head at the sound of the door and then returned to his book. Ben untied the thigh strap on his holster and took off his gun belt, rolled it up and placed it on the credenza beside Adam's. He hung his hat on the hat racket along with his jacket.

Well," Adam said, not looking up, "did you enjoy your lunch?"

"Yes, very much as a matter of fact." Ben sat down in his favorite chair and reached for his pipe. He needed a smoke after his afternoon out at the box social. "What did you have for lunch since you left; there were other lunches available, you know?"

"I know" Adam replied, still not looking up. "I had cold biscuits and ham left over from breakfast-and a mouthful of ashes."

Ben smiled, lit his pipe and began gently puffing. "I suppose that you're angry?"

"No." Adam made no effort to elaborate.

"You knew whose box lunch it was, didn't you?"

"I knew."

"Well, I didn't. I just bid against you for the fun of it. You know everyone does that. It's to push up the bid-you know it's all for charity."

Adam said nothing but had to admit to himself that it was true. Just two years ago, he had outbid Joe for Amy Wright's boxed lunch and Joe had skulked around the picnic grounds watching them. Adam had no romantic interest in Amy Wright, he just was having a bit of fun because sixteen year old Joe had been walking around like a love-struck calf over the older Amy for weeks. But Joe didn't think it was amusing to be outbid, no matter how much Hoss and Joe's friends joshed him afterwards and the night of the box-lunch picnic, once they were all home, Joe took a swing at Adam which Adam deftly side-stepped, grinning as Hoss held Joe back. Joe spewed his anger and frustration but Adam told Joe that he shouldn't be angry-it was all for charity, after all, but Adam knew that it was only partly true; he just wanted to have a little fun with Joe and Joe was so easy to rile. And now Adam was in the position in which Joe had been a time ago and he didn't like it.

Box socials were a common way to raise money for charities and this box social was raising money for the school the church was building on the Paiute reservation; they needed the money for a permanent structure, and also hoped to convert some of "our red brethren," as the minister put it, "to the knowledge of God's love for them." Adam had turned to his father in church where the social was announced for the next Saturday, and stated that they could start by showing "their red brethren," a bit of "their white brethren's love."

There was no better or easier way for the church to earn money than through a box-lunch social. Although men may begrudge giving up their hard-earned money to the plate passed during services, when it came to buying not only a meal but the company of a pretty girl or woman for an afternoon, many of them would part with the usual bid of $1.50-$2.50. And with some good-natured competition, the price of a box lunch could go up to five-maybe even ten dollars if the girl was particularly pretty and the men knew she came with the basket. Even though the owner of the box lunch was supposed to be anonymous, most young men asked the girl they were courting or interested in, for some clue. The girl, if she wanted to spend the afternoon sitting under a tree with a certain man, would either tell him what the menu would be or draw a certain decoration on the box-a flower or curlicues, her initials-anything that would identify the box as hers. But there were also anonymous boxed-lunches and despite a few bad choices, Ben Cartwright always liked to bid on those; it was the element of chance that he liked.

So in the early afternoon, the four Cartwrights, all smartly dressed, rode up to the schoolhouse where two long tables had been set out front. On the tables were basket after basket, some with ribbons of specific colors braided on the handle as a signal to a certain beau. The picnic grounds were basically behind the schoolhouse and stretched all the way to the small lake and its environs. There were a few picnic tables set out on the grounds but most baskets contained, along with the food, a blanket to spread under some shady tree.

Carriages and horses were lined up and since this was a social just for single men and women, there were no children unless a young widow had a basket up for bid or a young widower was taking a chance on meeting someone to be a mother and wife. The young girls, all in brightly colored springtime dresses and beribboned hats, giggled with each other and some nodded to and smiled at the young men waiting for their goods to come up for bidding.

Once the bidding began, after a short speech from the pastor about the need to school Paiute children and show them the love of God, the joking began. George Andrews bid $2.50 on Macy Green's box lunch, and another man, Rusty Taylor, bid $3.00 on it. George upped his bid to $4.00 and told Rusty that if he didn't keep quiet and let him win Macy's box lunch, why he'd go hunt up a whole ant hill and dump it on their picnic and then he'd see how much Rusty enjoyed it! Everyone laughed and Rusty good-naturedly made a mock bow and let George have it but the bid had been raised a dollar fifty which had been the whole purpose. But before he gave up completely, Rusty said that he hoped that George had bid on the correct box lunch and not some old, dried-up wrinkled widow just like those raisins in that pie that was in the lunch. Maybe, Rusty added, she was looking for a young husband to warm her bed-and her feet at night. The minister tsk-tsked at such ribald humor but the gathered group laughed as such a thing had often happened before. Through the years, mistakes had been made and a man had bid and won the wrong female's box lunch.

Joe quickly bid high and won the box-lunch with Jennie Mae Morris and the two of them smiled at one another. Soon enough they would be leaving for the picnic grounds, Joe grinning and Jennie Mae proudly taking his arm. Bids for other baskets continued and Adam waited nervously; he was readying himself to bid for Mrs. Eloise Logan's boxed lunch.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After about twenty minutes, Mr. Barry, the deacon handling the bidding, put a basket that to Adam's eyes, might be Mrs. Logan's in front of him. It had the thin blue ribbon tied at the base of one of the twin handles. No one else would know for certain that it was Mrs. Logan's if they were waiting for it, not even Adam himself, except that he had asked, Miss Handley, Mrs. Logan's aunt who helped in the bakery and lived in one of the rooms over the shop, how he would know which basket was hers.

Thursday morning, right before dawn, Adam had stopped by the bakery shop to ask Mrs. Logan if she was going to the box social; during the day, she was far too busy to speak to him and barely glanced at him as he waited to exchange a few words with her. The door to her bakery shop wasn't yet unlocked, the sign still turned to CLOSED, but Miss Handley who was inside, saw him, and smiling at Adam's earnest face, let him in.

"She's in the back," Miss Handley had said with a small smile and motioned for Adam to go around the counter. Miss Handley had noticed how Adam Cartwright stopped by the shop often, he and his two brothers or him alone, and he often tried to engage Mrs. Logan in conversation but she seemed to barely notice him no matter how much he tried. And he did try.

Adam pulled off his hat and walked into the small kitchen that served the shop. Mrs. Logan was rolling out buttered pastry. She looked up from her work and Adam stood nervously, turning his hat by its brim.

"Good morning, Mr. Cartwright. A bit early isn't it? We aren't yet open."

"Your aunt, let me in."

"Have you come to check out the cleanliness of my kitchen before you buy anything?" She stared at him.

"No, no," he laughed; he couldn't tell if she was serious or joking. He sniffed the air. "What you're baking does smell good. What is it?'

"Croissants and pain au chocolate. I'm hoping to have enough customers this morning so that I don't have to hand them out to strangers on the street. It's either that or throw them away if they don't sell."

"Well, Virginia City isn't the most sophisticated place. The people around here, mostly men, only know apple, rhubarb or peach pie and for breakfast, it's usually heavy on meat, eggs and dairy," Adam said. "A continental breakfast doesn't appeal to them."

"So you're saying that I made a mistake in starting a bakery here?"

"No, I'm not saying that, not at all. I just wanted to explain why business might be slow. Once people taste your pastries…well, I think giving out samples is probably a good idea-a way of advertising. And as far as customers, my brother Hoss alone can keep you in business for years." Adam smiled to let Eloise Logan know that he was apologetic if he upset her.

"Oh, I see," Eloise said. She brushed some flour off her apron and then, with the back of her hand, pushed some dark, stray locks off her forehead. "Can I do anything for you?"

"Well, I was wondering if you were going to be at the box social this Saturday."

She began working the dough again. "I hadn't really thought about it," she said quietly.

"Well, the reason I ask is that I'd like to bid on your picnic basket." Adam felt himself begin to flush with nervousness; he didn't know why she made him feel this way or why he had decided to pursue her. Eloise Logan didn't seem to care for him in particular and usually that would be enough to discourage him but for some reason, he couldn't divert his attention from her, couldn't draw his mind from thinking of her.

Adam watched Eloise as she worked, surrounded by flour and bowls and pastry cutters. The kitchen, actually the whole shop, smelled of vanilla and baked crusts and sugar and fragrant coffee. And Eloise Logan had rolled up her sleeves past her elbows and her shapely arms were exposed as was her throat; she had unbuttoned the top few buttons at the neck of her blouse. And even though her hair was simply pulled back in a low chignon, Adam thought that she looked lovely enough to take to a dance. And he wanted her to like him but he knew that he was trying too hard and he couldn't stop himself.

Mrs. Logan stopped what she was doing and looked at him quizzically. "Isn't it supposed to be anonymous? Isn't that the point?"

Adam gave a small laugh; he realized that he sounded nervous. "Not really. Women tell the men who they want to win their lunch either some special food or what design is on the box or the basket…anything. That way, it works out."

She stared at him in silence for a few seconds and Adam felt himself begin to sweat under his trail coat. 'Just shut up,' he told himself, 'just leave. She thinks you're an ass.'

"Isn't that cheating, in a manner?" she asked, her face open and guileless. .

"Well, no. It's just that…I suppose in a way it is cheating but it's expected. I mean between people who want to share the afternoon together. If they want to make certain that…" Adam let his voice fade; he didn't know what else to say. "Well, I guess that since you hadn't planned on going to the social, it's moot." he swallowed deeply. He wondered how he could extricate himself from this awkwardness. "It smells good in here. What are you baking?"

"I told you-croissants and pain au chocolat."

"That's right, you did. Well, maybe I'll buy a few. I left home so early, I never had time for breakfast." Adam looked down at his hat.

"If you'd like some coffee, please tell my aunt that it's gratis."

Adam burned with embarrassment. Adam told himself that Mrs. Logan felt sorry for him, maybe was even hinting that he wanted a free breakfast.

"That's all right," he said. "I think I can manage to pay for a cup of coffee."

"I'm sure you can," Eloise Logan said. "I was only trying to be friendly; I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, I wasn't offended…" Adam was flustered again. Mrs. Eloise Logan the pretty, young widow who had opened the bakery a few weeks ago, upset him greatly. He felt like a young kid again, not a 33 year old man who was experienced with women. "Thank you for the coffee," Adam said. "I'll tell her." Adam nodded to Eloise and put his hat back on and went into the shop, his heart pounding.

"Well," Miss Handley asked, "did you find out what you wanted to know?" Mrs. Handley was almost twenty-five years older than the young widow and she was friendly enough to Adam. Actually, she felt sympathy for the young man; she knew that her niece had no interest in developing a relationship with any man. After the death of her husband, Eloise Logan left Chicago with all that she owned and brought her single aunt with her; Mrs. Logan's wish was to start a French bakery, actually, a café, even though she had no business experience. But she had liked to bake ever since she was a child and so decided to make it her livelihood. Eloise Logan had such pleasant memories of the time she had spent in France, fresh out of her private girl's school. It had been one of the happiest times of her life, traveling the country with her mother and aunt. So the smells and sounds of the bakery soothed her and made her happy since they brought back such pleasant memories. It all brought back the carefree days before she had met Mr. Logan and been drawn into his world.

"No, I didn't," Adam answered. "Well, I suppose in a way, I did. I asked her if she was going to the box lunch social Saturday and she said that she hadn't thought about it. I guess that's a no."

Miss Handley handed Adam a mug of fragrant coffee. He reached into his pocket to pay.

"No," she said. "It's on the house." Miss Handley grinned at him.

"That's what she said but I can pay, especially since business is slow."

"Mr. Cartwright, accept a kindness."

Adam sighed. "Thank you."

"Now accept another," Miss Handley said, leaning in conspiratorially. "I'll get her to the social. When whoever it is reads the list of foods inside, listen for a maple walnut pie. That'll be hers. I'll bake it myself."

Adam grinned and then he drank deeply of the coffee. "Good coffee," he said.

"Here," Miss Handley said as she picked up the coffee carafe, "let me pour you some more."

She did and Adam, standing at the counter instead of sitting at one of the tables in the shop, sipped more. "I was just wondering, is there someone else? I mean is there someone who's courting Mrs. Logan?

"No, no one else. Why?"

"Oh, I just wondered." Adam drank some more coffee. He wanted to ask about Eloise Logan, what her history was but didn't want to push Miss Handley's good will; he'd find out in time for himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mr. Barry lifted the box lunch out of the basket and looked at the writing on the side. "Let's see what we've got on the menu here. There's a jar of lemonade here in the basket and it looks like what's for lunch is roast pork sandwiches, a maple-walnut pie…"

Before Adam could speak to make his bid, he heard Hoss pipe up, "A maple-walnut pie?"

"That's what I said, Hoss," Mr. Barry replied. People turned to look at him, smiling; Hoss' sweet tooth and gigantic appetite were legendary.

And from the sidelines, Bessie Sue Hightower who was as tall as Hoss, stepped out and with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face, called across to the group of men, "Hoss Cartwright, that ain't my boxed lunch so you best not be thinking about bidding on that one or I promise you, you won't enjoy any of it thinkin' about what I'm gonna do to you later. Understand? "

The group laughed and Hoss blushed. "Why I just asked iffen that was what he said," Hoss answered. "I ain't biddin' on anyone else's boxed lunch but yours. You know that, Bessie Sue."

"Not if you want to go on living and have children sometime in the future," someone shouted from the crowd and laughter reigned again.

"Yeah," someone else called out, "Bessie Sue'll be servin' you prairie oysters for dinner but they won't be from no bull."

"You best listen good to them, Hoss." Bessie Sue turned and stomped back amid chuckles and smiles, to join the other women and girls who were waiting for their turn.

"Now what bid do I…" But before Mr. Barry could finish his sentence, Adam called out a bid for five dollars. A noise ran through the crowd; that was a high opening bid. It was obvious that Adam Cartwright wanted to cut off any competition.

"Seven-fifty," Ben called out in his strong voice.

Adam turned to look at his father who was stranding a way behind him; Ben nodded to him, barely containing a smile. "Ten dollars," Adam said, raising his hand.

Ben paused and then raised his bid to twelve-fifty.

Adam pursed his lips. He didn't quite understand why his father was bidding against him. "Fifteen," Adam called out.

"Well," Mr. Barry said, grinning, "looks like we might have a biddin' war going on here. Do I hear another bid, Ben? Someone else want to join in the bidding? Why I can smell the sweetness of this here pie and the savory of the roast pork sandwiches…mmmmm, just smell that. Some man going's to eat well."

"You sure do hear another bid! Twenty!" Ben and Adam looked at each other. "You have more money than that, boy, to bid against your old man?"

"Twenty-five," Adam said, turning back around. He could feel anger rising in his throat and he clenched his jaw.

"Thirty!" Ben raised his hand in the air to accompany his bid.

Adam glanced over to where Mrs. Logan stood and he saw that she was horrified over what was happening. 'I should have known better,' he told himself. He knew how reserved Eloise Logan was and that despite what every other woman might think of being the center of attention, she wouldn't like it. Adam turned back to his father and despite the money he had in his wallet, more than enough to buy fifty boxed lunches, he said, "I guess it's yours, Pa."

"The day that you can better your old man, boy, well, that'll be the day that I have six feet of Ponderosa soil piled on top of me," Ben said good-naturedly as he moved through the group to claim his basket, pausing to clap Adam on the shoulder. The people chuckled and Adam felt humiliation but he decided that if it prevented Eloise Logan from being embarrassed any further, then it was worth it to bear the derisive comments from the group about the son and the father and who was obviously still the head rooster of the family.

Adam glanced back over to Eloise but she had moved to the back of the group. She had made no public acknowledgement that the box lunch was hers-not by a smile, not by a wave-nothing. And Adam was too upset to remain and bid on another lunch; he knew that he would want to watch his father and Mrs. Logan together as they enjoyed the meal and each other's company. If he bought another lunch, he knew that he wouldn't taste anything he ate and the woman with him would be offended by his lack of attention so he quietly left for home. And now, his competition, at least at the social was sitting here-his own father.

"How was the pie?" Adam asked, not looking up.

"Delicious. I had two pieces. We gave the rest of the pie to Hoss."

Adam closed the book, keeping his place with his left index finger. "Bessie Sue didn't smash it in his face?"

Ben chuckled. "No. no. Hoss ate her rhubarb pie and the rest of the maple pie. And the pork sandwiches, wonderful. They were on that crusty bread-you remember, the bread we had in New Orleans, that French bread? The pork practically melted in your mouth. It had a little salty, garlic flavor on the edge which was crisp. Delicious. Absolutely delicious. And there was a cinnamon, raisin-applesauce to eat with it and a wilted salad. It all blended together beautifully."

"Glad you enjoyed it," Adam said, "and that you got your thirty dollars' worth-wouldn't have wanted you to have spent all that money without any return on your dollar. What did the two of you talk about?"

"Well, not her. I don't think I've ever met a woman less inclined to talk about herself. So we mainly talked about business. She said that she didn't know too much about business, just decided that she was going to open a bakery. After asking a few questions, I found out that she's losing money. She didn't realize that white flour would cost so much out here and then there's the eggs and milk. Apparently she's not even breaking even. She laughed and said that even though her husband was a banker and a businessman, she obviously learned nothing from him. "

"She told you all that?" Adam was surprised and felt a bit of resentment against his father. He had been trying to engage Eloise Logan in conversation for almost a month now and in one afternoon, she had confessed her financial problems to his father and told him her dead husband's profession. He had never gotten past a few words with her and usually those were just social niceties. And Eloise Logan had never laughed with him, despite his efforts to make her smile, and that hurt the most.

"Yes. So I told her I would help her." Ben said.

"You did? How are you going to help her?"

"Well," Ben rested his head against the back of his red chair and gazed at Adam. "I told her that I would invest in her shop for five cents on the dollar return. I would bring her eggs and fresh milk every day, starting Monday morning. And tomorrow, Hoss and Joe are going to build a chicken coop behind the store. There's no alleyway, just open space behind the shop. I told her I'd give her a few hens and a rooster. Hoss is even going to build a stable to hold a cow and I'll give her one of our milk cows. I thought of Pansy; she's small and docile-easy to milk."

"And she accepted."

"Not at first but when I said that I'd accept five cents-originally I asked for three cents but she insisted it be five-then she accepted the deal."

"She doesn't know much about business, does she?" Adam shook his head. "But tomorrow's Sunday. What about your insistence on no work on the Sabbath? And what about services? You figure Hoss' and Joe's souls aren't worth worrying about?"

"If it's to help a neighbor, well, I think that the good Lord can forgive the trespass."

"I'll have to have you point that out to me," Adam said. "Is it in Leviticus or Deuteronomy?"

"Are you trying to start an argument or just pointing out my faults?" Ben puffed on his pipe and waited but Adam said nothing, just sat silently, considering what his father had just said about going into business with Mrs. Logan-it did tie her to them in a manner. Ben had suspected, from what Hoss had told him and then by Adam's behavior today that Adam was attracted to the young widow. "Is Eloise Logan why you've been in town more than usual?"

"What?" Adam was brought back from his thoughts. "Oh, no, I just…well, yes. I guess she is in a way, but she doesn't seem to care for me too much."

"She told you about which basket to bid on, didn't she? I'd say she cared."

"No, she didn't tell me-her aunt did. Too bad her aunt doesn't hold a draw for me; at least she seems to like me." Adam gave a disdainful snort.

"Why don't you take the eggs and milk out to Mrs. Logan tomorrow? It'll give you another chance to talk to her. I told her that you handle almost all of the Ponderosa's business dealings, contracts and such and that you had a head for numbers. She seemed impressed and insisted that a contract be drawn on our partnership."

"I'll draw up the contract but as for Mrs. Logan," Adam said, "well, I think I'll turn my attentions somewhere else. I've embarrassed myself enough with her. I'll escape with what little dignity I might still have intact." Adam put the book on the table, not bothering anymore about keeping his place, and stood up and stretched. "How about some coffee?"

"Sounds good." Adam left for the kitchen and Ben puffed slowly on his pipe; it helped him think. He hadn't known that all this time Adam had been trying to win the affections of Eloise Logan, but he felt that he should have. But after spending the afternoon with her, Ben wasn't so sure that she was a good match for Adam. She was as tightly shut as Adam was and that didn't bode well, Ben thought. He was glad that Adam was going to look elsewhere. Adam needed a warm, loving woman, not someone like Eloise Logan and there were more than enough women who would be willing to return his oldest son's affections. And Ben wondered if he had failed Adam in some way, what he might have done to cause Adam to keep his feelings as close to his chest as a gambler does a winning poker hand.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ben, Hoss and Joe left for church dressed in their work clothes and took the buckboard loaded down with chicken wire, 2x4's of varying lengths, nails and two, full, milk cans and a large basket of eggs to take into town with them.

"Hop Sing's gonna kick like a mule when he sees that we done took all these eggs," Hoss said, as he loaded them in the wagon and put a blanket over them.

"He'll be fine," Ben said but he wasn't so sure. Hop Sing storming around and yelling in Chinese was to be avoided if possible. Ben could already hear Hop Sing saying, "How you expect Hop Sing make breakfast you take away all eggs? All milk? No have time to milk cow, get eggs! Why you give away?" Ben loaded first one milk can and then the other; he could hear it now.

"Hey, Adam, come help me with this lumber," Joe said. "You're not even going to church this morning so do a little soul-saving by helping your family."

Adam grinned. "But I get so much pleasure watching you work." But he went and helped Joe load the boards.

"Sure you don't want to come along, Adam?" Ben asked after he climbed up to the seat. Joe sat beside him and Hoss sat in the back, resting against the stack of wood.

"No, I'll draw up the partnership contract this morning. That is if you're still sure you want to do that-become a partner? Maybe a business loan would be better, easier to extricate yourself than a partnership."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Mrs. Logan and I talked at great length about it."

"Adam," Joe said, "I'd think you'd want Mrs. Logan to be a big success. You're always looking at her like you wish she was on the menu." And both Hoss and Ben laughed and Adam gave them a wry smile. Ben clucked to the horses and Adam waved as they drove off, glad to see them gone.

Adam spent only a bit over an hour drawing up what he considered a simple partnership contract; what each person gave to the business was explicitly listed-that was easy enough. But where Adam chose the wording carefully was about the dissolution of the business under certain circumstances and who would own the business should one of the main partners die. As the eldest son, Adam listed himself as the next in line and since Miss Handley was, to Adam's knowledge, Mrs. Logan's only relative and because she worked in the bake shop, Adam listed her as well. So Adam reread what he had written, scratched a few words, added more and tried to see the document from Mrs. Logan's point of view.

It seemed clear-cut to Adam, nothing circuitous, vague and no clauses that she could suspect would be her undoing. And yet he was anxious about how Eloise Logan would view it, so when Ben and the boys returned home telling Adam about the wonderful dinner Mrs. Handley had made for them and how Hoss ate almost all the day old pastries served as dessert.

"But we brought you back some," Hoss said, handing Adam a brown paper sack.

"Yeah, and it almost didn't get here," Joe said. "Hoss kept sticking his nose in the bag and asking if we thought you'd miss one of them since you didn't know they were coming anyway."

Adam handed the bag back to Hoss. "Bon appetit, Hoss."

"That French for have these?" Hoss asked, taking the bag.

"More or less, " Adam answered. "Day-old pastries don't appeal to me."

"Bein' so picky's gonna cause you trouble some day. That why you ain't taken after Mrs. Logan more? Consider her someone else's day-old pastry?" Hoss looked at Joe and they both grinned slyly. They had talked about Eloise Logan as they had worked on the chicken coop and the cow stall. Joe asked Hoss if at any time that he saw, had Adam had flirted with her and Hoss said that not as he had noticed but then she didn't give Adam much chance; she was sorta cold and business-like and ol' Adam seemed lost-didn't quite know how to go about winning her since she basically avoided him. And Joe had shaken his head and said that it was a shame because he felt that she sure could warm up some man's bed real fine.

"Oh, shut up," Adam said. "Go stuff your mouth with that bag."

Hoss just guffawed and left for the kitchen to eat his pastries with a tall glass of milk and Joe yawned and stretched and went upstairs. Ben had filled his pipe bowl with his favorite Irish tobacco, lit it, and sat down in his chair.

"While you're sitting there," Adam said, taking the contract off the desk and bringing it to his father, "read the contract between you and Mrs. Logan. If you have no changes, I'll make the final draft early tomorrow but it's a simple contract, nothing convoluted. You can take it out to Mrs. Logan for her to read and then take her to Hiram's to sign it. After that, you own part of a French bakery and café."

Ben took the papers from Adam. And looked up at him "You mean 'we' own part of a French bakery and café. Ponderosa Enterprises, correct?"

"That's how I wrote it," Adam answered. The idea of being in business with Mrs. Logan raised mixed feelings in Adam; he was both excited and yet he felt misgivings. Going into business with friends was never good, and in Adam's opinion, although she wasn't a friend of his and although he felt that he was no longer going to pursue her affections, Adam still wanted to. He watched his father read through the papers.

"One thing, Adam, here." Adam leaned over to see where Ben was pointing.

"What about it?"

"Remove the Ltd."

"Why? You're no great investor-if she has losses then your losses, our losses, should be limited to just 5%."

"But, Adam…"

"You wanted me to write up the contract. I did. It's important that as investors, our loss should be limited." Ben just looked at Adam. "All right, all right." Adam took the papers from his father. "I'll change it." He went back to the desk and pulled out new paper; he was tired of all this. Usually Hiram wrote out the contracts, not him and Adam wondered why his father wanted him to draw up the papers. Granted, it was a simple enough contract but still, Hiram's clerk could write it in a mere two hours-and would have insisted in leaving in the limited losses. Maybe that's why-maybe Ben hoped that Adam would make the contract less business-like and friendlier. Maybe, Adam thought, his father felt more than just a business partnership with Mrs. Logan and Adam found himself becoming disturbed about the whole thing. But he continued to write and after an hour and a half, he had finished rewriting the whole contract. The grandfather clock had just struck ten at night.

"It's on the desk, Pa," Adam said as he rose from the green leather chair. "You can read it now or in the morning. I'm going to bed."

Adam crawled in bed between the crisp, cool sheets and he sighed deeply as his body was now supported by the feather mattress and although he tossed and turned a bit, he was soon asleep. But his sleep was disturbed by a dream about Mrs. Logan. He was pursuing her through a dark wood, plaintively calling her name, "Eloise." Branches of trees kept striking him in the face as he searched for her and they stung his eyes and cheeks. He had to use his hands to push them aside and had to be careful they didn't snap back. And then he saw Eloise in front of him and he grabbed her white arm and pulled her to him, encircling her with his arms in an embrace. He kissed her in his dream but when he released her, smiling expectantly, she spat on him and ran again and it felt the same as the stinging slap of the branches of the tree. He wanted to stop following her, cursed her name, but even in his dream, he found he couldn't. And so he took off after her again, running through the dark woods chasing her, not knowing where she had gone but continually searching, calling out her name. And Adam woke up, shaken from the feelings the dream roused in him, the intense feeling of loss and the gut-wrenching desire. He wanted Eloise Logan and despite how much he may try to deny it to himself and everyone else, he couldn't leave off pursuing her, no matter how much pain he went through.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Adam, just come along. In case Eloise has any questions…"

"Eloise?" Adam asked. He held his coffee cup in mid-air as he waited. He hadn't eaten much breakfast but was leisurely enjoying his coffee.

"Mrs. Logan. She asked me to call her Eloise at the social."

"Oh, I see. And I suppose that you're Ben."

"Well, yes. Look, Adam, we were in a social situation, that's all. I'd like you to come in case Mrs. Logan has any questions-you can answer them."

"So can you…or Hiram, who should have drawn up the contract in the first place." Adam rested one arm on the table top and held his cup by the bowl with the other hand, sipping from it.

"I didn't want Hiram to write it because I wanted the wording to be less…legal. More friendly. You understand."

"Oh yes, I understand," Adam said. "I certainly do understand. Friendly-that's what we want."

Hoss and Joe looked at one another. They weren't quite sure what was going on except that Adam seemed annoyed at their father and the whole bakery idea

"I just want to keep this business arrangement on friendly terms. And I promised Eloise-I mean Mrs. Logan, that you'd look over her books."

"Why the hell did you do that?" Adam sat up straight, his anger obvious in his voice.

"Because she's losing money and I thought that you could look over the books and tell her where to save, where she could cut corners."

"I can tell her and you without even looking at the books-sell the damn shop and find a life somewhere else. Unless of course she has her cap set for an older man with three grown sons," Adam said. "After all, 'Eloise' isn't stupid; she's probably far more cunning than you or I ever imagined."

"If you don't want to look at the books, just say so. You don't have to insult her-or me."

"Oh, I'll go and look at the books. I wouldn't miss this. And let's just see how grateful 'Eloise' is to you." Adam pushed his chair away from the table. "I'll go hitch up the buckboard. You can get some chickens and cage them for the trip and I'll tie Pansy to the back of the buckboard. Let's see, with that cow plodding behind us, we ought to get to Virginia City in what-two hours? And Adam left the house.

Father and son barely spoke on the long ride to town. Adam couldn't step up the horses because the cow would become stressed and then not give milk for a few days, maybe a few weeks, even with Adam's horse tied behind with her and keeping her calm. And the chickens were upset at being caged and so they began to molt as they squawked and flapped their wings. Adam knew there wouldn't be eggs for a while but that wasn't his problem, he decided. The hell with Mrs. Eloise Logan. The hell with her Logan Café. Adam didn't want to care anymore but the feeling that had accompanied his dream was still with him and he felt a heavy sadness that mingled with his anger. And when he pulled the buckboard behind the café and Eloise Logan came out as they were taking out the chickens, Adam felt the longing for her rise in his gut again, the hopelessness and the accompanying pain overwhelming him so that he almost felt weak.

"Oh, Ben," Eloise said, "you are wonderful! As good as your word." She tip-toed and kissed Ben's cheek. He grinned at her smiling face. "And I'm ready for them. I bought some chicken feed and some straw for the cow. Does a cow need anything more than straw to eat?"

"She should be grazed," Adam said as he untied the animal. "You need a stake so she doesn't wander too far. You're lucky there's just open land behind here or you couldn't keep a cow."

"Yes, I suppose so. Mr. Cartwright." Eloise looked at the area behind her shop. "I've never owned a cow before."

"Well, let's hope you do better with a cow than with a bake shop."

"Adam," Ben said as a form of reprimand.

"That's all right, Ben," Eloise said. "Your son's right. I haven't done well with my business. Anything else that I need to know…Adam?"

"You also need to shovel out her stall every morning," Adam said. He wanted to bring up the negative aspects hoping she would find it distasteful-he felt cruel.

"You mean to clean out any…droppings?"

"Manure," Adam replied. "And you need to put down fresh straw everyday so her hooves stay dry. And you need to milk her. She was milked already this morning, but starting tomorrow, Pansy will need to be milked or it'll cause her pain-her udders will swell and her teats and bag will become tender." Adam was amused to see Eloise Logan blush deeply at the mention of teats.

"Yes, well, I'm sure that between my aunt and me, we'll manage."

"Good," Adam said, handing Eloise the rope to Pansy's halter. "Lead her into her new home."

Eloise arrogantly stuck up her chin and took the rope from Adam and led the cow into the stall. Ben and Adam watched as they stood waiting to see if Eloise would require help but after a few clumsy positionings and turning Pansy around twice, Eloise managed to settle Pansy into the stall. There was already water for the cow and Eloise grabbed up some straw and placed it in the high trough.

"Well," she said, pushing hair from her face, "I think she's settled in. Now, if I can manage milking her, I'll be fine. My aunt says that she knows how to so, well, we should be fine. Thank you again, Ben….and…"

"Adam. You can call me Adam, Mrs. Logan."

"Yes, well, I suppose I should. I mean I call your father, Ben, and your brothers by their first names so I suppose that I should call you Adam." No one said anything for a few seconds. "You may call me Eloise."

"That's all right, Mrs. Logan. That seems a bit too familiar on my part." There was dead silence while Adam and Eloise Logan looked at one another, each summing up the other.

"Well," Ben interrupted, "I have the contract for our business venture. Adam drew it up and he's here to answer any questions you may have. He also said that he would look over the books for you." Adam turned and looked at his father who slightly shrugged.

"Well, come in. I have some dough rising in the kitchen so I have time to read the contract-as long as it's not too confusing and lengthy." Mrs. Logan opened the door which faced another door that led into the kitchen. The living quarters were on the second and third floor and a narrow stairwell led upstairs.

Mrs. Logan led them up the stairs and then unlocked the door that opened into a small parlor, comfortably furnished. She ushered Ben and Adam in and asked them to sit. They sat on a settee while she sat on a rocking chair. Beside it on the floor was a basket filled with yarn and knitting needles poking out. "I seem to have forgotten my manners. May I get you anything? I can fetch some coffee from downstairs. Is there anything you would like to eat?' Both men declined.

Ben reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the folded contract. "Here are the papers. As I said, Adam wrote the contract and it should be simple in that there are no complicated exchanges or wording-contracts can be so confusing." He leaned over and handed the papers to Mrs. Logan.

She silently read the two pages and then went back to the first page again and read a section again. Adam watched, waiting. He wondered if she was trying to look for something to challenge but if she was, she either didn't find it or changed her mind. "Well, it seems simple enough."

"I tried to make it easy to understand," Adam said.

Eloise looked at him. "Yes, I noticed. After all, women don't have much of a brain for business, do they? Every man knows that."

"That wasn't what I meant," Adam said. He stood up, still holding his hat. "My father wanted to spare you the time and the cost of hiring a lawyer-I suppose you're either too ignorant about business ventures to know that or you just don't care. Either way, that's why the contract is so clean and simple."

"Adam," Ben said. "I think that you owe Mrs. Logan an apology."

"Do you? I don't. My father will take you to our lawyer and we'll pay to have the contract witnessed and filed-unless you have other plans. But as it is, I'm finished for the moment. I'll be taking my leave now." Adam put on his hat and began to leave while Ben watched, open-mouthed. Adam suddenly stopped. "Unless, of course, you want me to go over your books. If you do, I'll have to take them with me. I have more things to do and can't spend my afternoon here."

Eloise Logan stood up, pulling herself as tall as she could make herself. "Wait here. I'll get them." She went to a desk and pulled open a drawer and took out a ledger. She also pulled out a folder which contained receipts and bills and handed them to Adam in a stack.

"This should be everything you'll need. Please let me know if you need anything else."

Adam took the ledger and the folder from her, noticing how small and elegant her hands were. For some reasons, her hands touched his heart; they looked as if they should be resting gently in her lap or holding a teacup or knitting, not milking a cow or writing numbers in a ledger. She should never do menial labor with them, he decided. Adam had an overwhelming urge to apologize to her for any offense and to beg for her charity-to hold her hands to his lips and kiss them. But then she spoke sharply to him and the emotion dissolved.

"I'm sure that you'll enjoy pointing out where I went wrong, where I paid too much or some such thing."

Adam just shook his head and gave a small, mirthless laugh. "No," he said, "I wouldn't enjoy that at all. Good day, Mrs. Logan." And he tipped his hat and left but his gut was in turmoil. "Damn that bitch," he told himself. "Damn her all to hell."

Adam tucked the paperwork in his saddle bags and mounted his horse. He kicked the animal into a gallop and rode the horse hard until his anger subsided. Adam patted the horse's sweating neck once he had brought it down to a walk. "Sorry, boy. You're lucky that your gelding came quickly. I swear that woman's expecting me to stand still while she clips mine off and hands them to me-and watches my face while she does it."


	6. Chapter 6

**Mea culpa—I made two errors in Chapter 5 that were pointed out to me so I corrected them. First, I've owned horses so I know that they eat hay—not straw—and cows would be the same. Nevertheless, I wrote straw. I was also told cows are milked twice a day—not once-which I confirmed by looking it up-something I should have initially done. Actually, cows can be milked multiple times a day which I never knew. I made Eloise the ignoramus—not myself. (It's good to be in charge!)**

 **Anyway, thank you to the guest reviewer for pointing out my errors and therefore, giving me the chance to correct them.**

Chapter 6

That evening at dinner, Ben waited to see if Adam was going to say anything about their morning visit to the Logan Café and Bakery but he seemed disinterested. The family conversation centered on the new calves that were born that day and their health. One had to be put down due to a deformity in one of its legs, it couldn't stay upright and even though it would have eventually learned to walk on three, they couldn't suffer it to live so it had been quickly dispatched with a bullet through its brain.

The next morning at breakfast, Ben raised the topic of the bakery himself by mentioning after Hop Sing returned to the kitchen, how much he would have enjoyed some buttery croissants with his steak and eggs.

Hoss," Ben said with a grin, "just because we now own part of the bakery, don't you go eating all the profits."

Joe laughed and Adam smiled but continued eating.

"So, looks like Mrs. Logan's gonna stay, huh?" Hoss asked. "Good."

"I hope she stays," Joe said. "She's just about the prettiest thing to come to Virginia City since, well, since that group of actors 'bout a year ago. Remember that blonde actress, Hoss? The one who wore that skimpy little outfit?"

"Oh, yeah," Hoss said, "Iffen that could be called an outfit. You 'member her, Adam?"

"Don't think I'll ever forget. The only time I've seen a woman perform wearing less and still consider herself clothed was in San Francisco. And I also remember having to drag Joe out of the concert hall after what? The fifth time you saw it?"

"Yeah, and remember, you collared me and dragged me through the group of women protesting and marching outside the opera house-wanted Roy to shut down the show for obscenity," Joe added with a laugh.

"Oh, yeah," Hoss said, "Mrs. Delaney hit Roy over the head with her umbrella and he tried to arrest her for assaultin' an officer and then all the women started swingin' their handbags at 'im."

Ben and Adam began to smile and chuckle as well, remembering of the incident.

"Yeah, and Roy said he had to cover his head with his hands and high-tail it outta there," Joe said and all four men laughed at the picture of Sheriff Roy Coffee being pummeled by a group of self-righteous women.

"Okay," Ben said, trying to become serious again. "Back to business. I think Eloise is going to stay and with our help, make a go of her business. We need to talk it up. Adam, did you have a chance to look at the books?"

"Yes," Adam said, merely glancing at his father. "I'll stop by the bakery this morning and talk to her and then I'll go pick up the mail. I'll stop by Brewster's on the way back and see if I can arrange a line of credit on feed for the chickens and cow. It'll be easier for her to pay the bills that way. But it seems that the flour and sugar are what really run up her expenses. They can't use sorghum or molasses in French pastry."

"Why can't she just use regular flour like everyone else?' Hoss asked. "Slap some of that custard on it and I'd eat it."

"You'd eat a horse turd if it had custard on it," Adam said.

"Hoss," Joe said, "don't you know anything? Peasants eat brown bread. In a fancy bakery, the things are made with white flour. It's more, well, delicate."

Adam smiled to himself and glanced across at Ben who also was amused.

"Is he right, Adam?" Hoss asked.

"Sadly, yes." Adam broke off a piece of toast and buttered it. Hoss just glared at Joe who giggled with superiority.

"The other expenses are that she's been buying cream and butter-I don't think that Mrs. Logan or her aunt have the experience or the time to churn butter or separate the cream to start with. So, either they hire someone to do it now that they have Pansy or they continue to buy it."

"That is problematic," Ben said. "Are you going to offer all these suggestions?"

"Yes. But I want to talk to Miss Handley as well." Adam looked down at his food; he wasn't telling his father everything. He didn't talk about the letters he had found tucked in the back of the ledger or the note from the bank.

"I was thinking," Ben said, "about the Cattlemen's Association dinner. What if for dessert, we have Eloise serve her pastries? Once the people meet her and taste some of those fancy French pastries, well, they'll be hooked. What do you think?"

"All that food is donated, Pa. From the beef to the dessert. I don't think she can afford it," Adam said.

"Well, we can," Ben said.

"Well, that's up to you and your partner. You discuss it with her but I wish you had performed your due diligence before becoming involved in this bakery."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Pa, it's just that Mrs. Logan's finances-well, they leave much to be desired; I don't think she even knows what bad shape they're in. But the sooner I speak to her, well, hopefully, the better. I need to take the ledgers back." Adam stood up and walked over to the credenza to put on his hat and gun belt.

"You want me to go with you, Adam?' Hoss asked.

Adam chuckled as he shrugged on his trail coat. "No. But I'll bring you back any leftover croissants."

"I rather have them fancy e-clairs. Dang, those things are good. And with that powdered sugar on top, mmmm-mmmm. Makes my mouth water just thinkin' of it."

And Adam left alone as he wanted to be, the heaviness of his burden weighing him down; he knew that Eloise Logan had a serious problem that might dog her all the way from Chicago to Virginia City.

And Ben sat at the table long after Hoss and Joe had left to work on the property. Perhaps he had made a mistake. Perhaps the loveliness and charm of Eloise Logan had been the selling point; Ben had liked her immediately-there was a vulnerability about her and he had just wanted to help a struggling business owner but he realized, with a flush of shame, that he hadn't performed his "due diligence." He originally just wanted to help her. It had been she who insisted that he take part of the profits before she would accept anything from him. Ben knew that he wanted to help her badly-a woman in need or peril always touched his "White Knight" complex as Adam had once called it. Ben considered everything Eloise Logan had said and done but couldn't find any cunning; it had been he who insisted to Adam that any losses the business might incur should not be limited to only 5%. But if something was worrying Adam about her books, then it must be serious. And Ben poured himself the last of the coffee and sat at the table which Hop Sing had already cleared.

The shop had opened but only Miss Handley was inside. She smiled as Adam came in, the ledger and folder tucked under his arm.

"Good morning, Mr. Cartwright! Coffee?"

Adam walked over to the counter and placed the ledger and folder on it. Miss Handley glanced at them, at first, not recognizing them and then her face changed.

"Good morning," Adam said. "I think I will take coffee but I need to talk to Mrs. Logan. I went over the books last night…"

"I can see. And we're terrible at business, aren't we?" She poured him a mug of coffee and dropped in one sugar loaf as he liked, and placed it before him.

"Basically, yes. Have you two considered opening a simple bakery, just selling bread, rolls, pies? Pa and Hoss both raved about your maple-walnut pie. Pa said the crust was the best he'd tasted."

"I think we should give up the business altogether. Even though Thomas was a banker and owned so much property…" Mrs. Handley stopped in mid-sentence. "Eloise wouldn't appreciate my telling you all this. Don't mention it to her."

"I won't. Where is she?" Adam heard no sound from the back kitchen.

"She's out milking Pansy and gathering eggs. Eloise might yet become a gentlewoman farmer." She laughed lightly and Adam recognized the nervousness; he was treading on delicate ground.

"Maybe you can tell me. There is something I need to know. There were some papers and letters tucked in the back and…Mr. Logan, was he less than honest?" Adam had tried to think of the best was to ask if Mr. Logan was involved in criminal activity.

Adam sipped his coffee while Miss Handley considered her words before she answered.

"Thomas was good to her-he loved her. He provided well for Eloise and their son."

"Son?" Adam was more intrigued.

"I shouldn't tell you about Eloise and her marriage, she wouldn't like it but since I started…my niece had a child, a boy she named Donald and a beautiful child he was." Miss Handley gazed absently and smiled at the memory of the child. "Such a happy child-Mr. Logan was so proud! Just glowed with pride. And Eloise, once she recovered her health, well, she adored the child as well. We all did-the only thing was that Eloise's mother had died a few months earlier and that, well, other than that and the hard delivery, it was a happy time."

"What about the delivery?"

"I shouldn't be telling you about these things. Eloise doesn't like to dwell and I don't think she'd like you knowing all this about her." Miss Handley looked into Adam's gentle eyes and then found that she couldn't hold back-she didn't want to hold back. Miss Handley liked the dark-haired man who was so quick to greet her with a smile and although she had tried to convince her niece that Adam Cartwright was a man to consider, Eloise would have nothing to do with him beyond mere cordiality. So she poured Adam more coffee and while he leaned on the counter opposite her, Miss Handley began to talk. And although Miss Martha Handley told Adam much that she felt he needed to know about Eloise, the things that she had witnessed and what Eloise had told her, there were many things that she did not know, could not know, such as the internal life of a young girl who grew to a woman and found that life held many disappointments and much pain.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Eloise Spence was a solitary child and caused her mother much concern; she made up small games that she played by herself since there were no other children in the household. Miss Martha Handley was her maiden aunt, Eloise's mother's sister, and since she had no means of support, she lived with her sister and her husband and helped raise Eloise. And as the girl grew and her mother and aunt introduced her to the world outside their home, Eloise learned to accommodate to the demands of society and when sent off for an education, she did well, being intelligent and personable but her instructors always remarked in their reports to her parents that Eloise spent too much time reading and not enough time outdoors. Novels, the ones her aunt sent her and the others she exchanged with the older girls in the dormitory, only fed romantic ideas and gave girls false expectations about love and marriage, the headmistress told her; Eloise needed to clear her head with more fresh air and outdoor activities such as hiking. So Eloise's father sent her a strictly worded letter that she was to follow the instructions given by the teachers and to leave off her reading or he would demand that her books be removed and burned. So Eloise read after lights out and was fortunate that her roommate could sleep with a lamp burning and could be trusted to keep her secret.

But although she didn't care much for hiking or mathematics, Eloise did like the cooking class; she found she had a talent for baking in particular and enjoyed making cakes and pies and petit fours with their delicate decorations. In the year end competitions, Eloise always won first place, le cordon bleu.

When Eloise's schooling was complete, at least as complete as most other girls her age, her aunt Martha and her mother took her to Europe where Eloise fell in love with France. She had taken the language in school and her time in Paris was the best time of her life-Eloise considered post-Paris the time of her reversal of fortune.

A telegraph came on the day the three were to travel to Luxemburg, informing them of the passing of Eloise's father and they immediately booked passage to return home to Chicago. Eloise considered that the end of her childhood and the push into the world of adult problems and troubles.

Eloise and Martha helped Mrs. Spence during her intense grief. Eloise thought, from her novel reading, that she well understood why her mother was distraught; she had lost the man she loved. Although Eloise couldn't imagine her stern father and her gentle mother locked in a passionate embrace, she just assumed that they loved each other and married due to their overwhelming passion for one another. Therefore, she was greatly surprised when she inadvertently overheard her mother telling her sister that she was glad to finally be free from the demands of marriage, from the grasping sexual urges of her husband. But, Mrs. Spence said, she hadn't realized how much Mr. Spence had done as far as running the financial sides of their life. Mrs. Spence was lost and for that reason, she regretted her husband's passing.

Eloise was disappointed. Many times during her schooling, she and the other girls would laugh and giggle about falling in love and how it would be to be deflowered; although Eloise, in her naiveté, was at first surprised to learn the mechanisms the act, she eventually became accustomed to the idea. All the girls had aspirations of being swept up by a strong, wealthy, handsome man who would thrill them with his passionate kisses and words of love and the girls would sigh and talk about how much they looked forward to their marriage bed. But here, after her father's death, Eloise had learned that her mother just barely tolerated her husband's caresses and Eloise was crushed; maybe novels were just imagination run wild as her teacher had told her, and life bore no resemblance to their plots.

Eloise was therefore surprised when Thomas Logan, a young banker from a good, well-established family whom she had met while visiting a friend, sent her a bouquet of lilacs which indicated his interest in her. Thomas Logan began to court her, bringing her cabbage roses to indicate his adoration of her. He was handsome and charming and was making a good living. And he found the young lady perfect for him and his social aspirations. Eloise was beautiful, well-mannered and schooled in the ways of society. She knew how to make polite conversation and to play hostess and she aroused his desire. So, since Eloise's father had passed, Thomas Logan spoke to both her mother and aunt and asked permission for her hand. Mrs. Spence answered that if Eloise desired to marry him, then she had her mother's blessing. And so they married and Eloise loved Thomas Spence. But her wedding night, despite the cursory talk her mother gave her, disappointed her greatly. For Eloise, it was painful and thankfully, quick. And Eloise lay staring up into the darkness while her new husband who had told her that he loved her, snored beside her, And tears ran from the corners of her eyes. This was reality. No wonder her mother was happy to be done with her father. And Eloise sighed and realized that this was her life and she would make the most of it as that was the only rational thing to do. And so she allowed her husband to perform his right as her husband once a week, and she tried to respond to him but he told her that only whores behaved as she was behaving and he would not have such a one as his wife. So Eloise resigned herself to the once a week sweating and grappling of and by Thomas.

It was almost half a year later that Eloise felt ill and when her misery didn't subside but became only worse, the doctor was called. He declared, after a cursory examination and a few questions that she was with child. Eloise asked for her mother who came, accompanied with her sister, to comfort Eloise and to tell her that it was God's will she was performing, to go forth and procreate. But in three more months, Mrs. Spence died after a fall in which she injured herself and took to her bed; the doctor said that it was a clotting of the blood in her legs from too much rest, that eventually went to her lungs and then to her heart and killed her.

Eloise's Aunt Martha comforted her and Thomas physically supported her during the funeral. It wasn't long though that, since her parents' house was much larger than the one that Thomas Logan was leasing for them, they moved into Eloise's parents' great house and Martha Handley lived with them, running the household and the domestic help since Eloise was indisposed.

Eloise's labor pains began at night; they woke her up and she was so afraid that she began to cry. Her husband, who slept across the hall, heard her and woke up Martha Handley by banging on her door. He instructed Martha to see what was wrong and in the morning, Thomas Logan left for the bank. At dinner, when he returned home, Eloise was in worse condition, despite the arrival of the midwife earlier in the afternoon, her fear and the pain overwhelming her. Thomas spent the evening at his smoking club, staying late into the night, telling the other members that his house was overrun with women and he needed to escape.

When he arrived home, the doctor had been called by the midwife. Martha Handley was with Eloise as well, who was exhausted and wet with sweat, her soaked gown stuck to her body. She had been in labor for over twenty-four hours. The doctor worried about the child so using every trick he knew, including having the midwife lay over Eloise's upper abdomen to force the child lower, the child was finally born and Eloise screamed in agony as she felt as if her very bowels were being ripped from her. But once Eloise had been washed and cleaned by Martha Handley and the midwife, Thomas entered her room and kissed Eloise's forehead which was as white as the fresh sheet pulled up almost to her chin and told her that he was very proud of her-she had done well and given him a son.

Thomas Logan was proud of his son and worried about his wife; he needed a wife for himself and a mother for his child and although he dreaded dealing with death and sickness, he visited Eloise regularly, even taking tea with her once she was able to sit up. As for the child whom Eloise named Donald after her father, Miss Handley secured a wet nurse, a young Irish mother with three children of her own, who cared for the child for six months until Donald was old enough to take a bottle and Eloise was well enough to feed him and take care of him for the short time she was allowed. A nanny was hired and she kept the child in the nursery and took him for walks through the upscale streets of Chicago in his carriage and Eloise was allowed to spend time playing with her growing boy who, despite his trials at being born, was a happy, active child.

Eloise did notice that men often came to visit her husband and that they would remain sequestered in what had been her father's study but was now Logan's. They were always polite and gentlemanly to her but Eloise didn't like their looks or their rough manner. They wore expensive suits that seemed to be only a veneer; they had no elegance of person. But when Eloise asked who they were, Thomas said that they were business associates; they had all invested in property together-quite a bit of property he had worrisomely added.

Eloise promised herself that she would find out more about her husband's business dealings and these men who were his partners so she decided to go so far as to listen outside the door of the study. But soon she had other things to weigh on her mind; Donald had become ill.

Eloise fretted and called the doctor. Eloise fired the nurse for leaving the window open at night when the doctor declared that Donald had pneumonia and was extremely ill. Eloise held her child while she watched him struggle for breath, her tears wetting the child's cheeks as she prayed for God to have mercy. But by the morning, Donald was dead and Martha had to extricate the dead child from Eloise's embrace; she couldn't bear to release her child. And Eloise was ill for days. She lay in a feverish state while her son was buried and after that, Eloise didn't smile anymore.

The minister tried to console her when he visited but Eloise only stared at her hands in her lap as she sat in the parlor and didn't respond. Her aunt thanked the minister for coming but Eloise never said a word to him, just continued to sit silently in the parlor. And due to her remoteness, Thomas basically left her alone. It was just as well; he was being hounded by the city for the properties that were in his name. Thomas Logan had served as the straw buyer of practically three whole blocks of buildings in the worst section of Chicago, the section where the Irish immigrants lived, crowded into small, dark rooms with families that contained children, parents, grandparents and any other relative who had come over. And now there was a cholera outbreak and people were dying. Children were dead in two days and adults didn't live much longer. The papers were referring to it as "The Red Death." And Thomas Logan was the owner of the loathsome properties, according to the papers. He was responsible for the deaths of all those people by allowing unsanitary conditions to continue and the city was going to fine him and bring him up on charges.

Due to all the bad publicity, Logan was fired from the bank. One night some of Logan's business partners came to the house and Eloise saw her husband break out in a sweat. She knew that he was afraid and when the men ensconced themselves in the study, Eloise heard their voices raised in anger, talking about the money, the fines and how the bank account was empty. Her aunt came and tried to pull her away from outside the door but Eloise refused to leave. Suddenly there was silence and Eloise and her aunt rushed into the parlor to remove themselves since it appeared the meeting was over. They heard the front door open-the men must have let themselves out since the maid was gone for the day.

Eloise decided that she was going to confront her husband and when she went into the study, she gasped. Thomas lay on the floor, the carpet around his head soaked with blood and his throat sliced open from ear to ear as if it was smiling.

Eloise could give no specific information about the men to the constables but the next day, Eloise and her aunt visited the family's lawyer who said that he knew nothing about her husband's property ventures and was as surprised as the next person to read it in the papers. But after a few day's investigation, he said that it appeared that the money for the purchase of the buildings came from investors. Unfortunately, that bank account was empty but, unknown to Eloise until then, there was a bank account in her name which contained many thousands of dollars. She was shocked. It wouldn't be until she received a letter from the bank telling her about the funds, that she decided to sell the family home and go out west with her aunt. Together, she told her aunt, they would open a business-a bakery with the proceeds from the sale. As the two women traveled out by train and then by coach, Eloise decided to start a French bakery and a café just like the ones in France. Her aunt did remember, after Eloise's prompting, how wonderful a time they had in France and how they had often sat for an hour or so enjoying the coffee and the beignets and other tasty pastries. She would start a life anew, free of the past and liked the name of Virginia City and its distance from Chicago so it was there that Eloise chose to settle.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Well," Eloise Logan said, "so you've told Mr. Cartwright all about me-and without my permission." Adam and Miss Handley turned to see Eloise standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "How dare you!"

"It's no worse than your eavesdropping," Adam said. He wanted to bait her and he didn't understand why.

Eloise's brown eyes darkened with fury but before she could spew out a response, Miss Handley spoke. "Eloise, Mr. Cartwright had a question and I just took the long way to answer him. You were out back-I suppose I shouldn't have told him so much but they have invested in our business, you know, and I think we owe them something."

"Yes. We owe them five percent of the profits-and that's all." She stood still and Adam said nothing; he knew, since her voice was quavering that she was upset. "Well, you've brought back my ledger. Are you and your father of the consensus that I am a terrible business woman?"

"You're not the best," Adam said and then finished his coffee. "And I need to talk to you about…" The bell over the door jangled and two men walked in. Obviously, from their business dress, they had been traveling on the stage; the depot was only a few storefronts down and many travelers stopped in for a quick cup of coffee and a bite. Miss Handley went around the counter with a carafe to the now-seated men and raised her brows at Adam; she hoped to convey to Adam that he should be cautious. "We should talk in the back," he said, taking up the ledger and folder and took Eloise's elbow and steered her to the kitchen.

Eloise sat at the small table and Adam sat down across from her, putting the ledger and folder on the table in front of them.

"Will this take long?" she said coldly. "I have more baking to do. I finished taking care of Pansy and collecting the eggs and the dough should have risen by now."

Adam noticed a large bowl on the butcher block that was filled with brown eggs. "I'm glad they're laying; they must have become comfortable quickly. How is Pansy doing?"

"Not as well as the chickens, but it may be me. She makes me nervous when I'm milking her and she looks at me with her eyes rolled back. It's as if she doesn't trust me," Adam smiled to himself. "And she does slobber quite a bit as she eats. I didn't know that cows were so messy." Eloise stared at her folded hands on the table, waiting for Adam to say what he came for.

"Let's get down to why I came. I found these in the back of the ledger." Adam flipped open the ledger to the back and pulled out letters from the Bank of Chicago that had been tucked there.

"Oh," Eloise said quietly. "I forgot they were in there. Did you read them?"

"Yes. It appears from what your aunt told me and from the information they contain, that your husband may have opened this account to hide money from his…partners. But as far as the bank is concerned, the money is yours. You're responsible for it."

"I don't want it. I refuse to touch it. The bank can do what it wants with it. I wash my hands of all of it."

"You can't do that," Adam said. "The money's in your name."

"I've already done it. I've left it there in the bank. It's not mine and I don't want it."

"Mrs. Logan," Adam explained, "if you suspect that this money is the result of criminal activity-and I think it is-then you need to notify the bank and the law. You don't know what's going on in Chicago and if that money is still sitting there, untouched and not under suspicion, did it ever occur to you that someone may come looking for you, for you to withdraw the money?"

She stared ahead at the wall. "It's been almost three months now and there's been nothing. I left the money and I don't care what happens to it. I told you, I don't want anything to do with it."

"You can't just walk away!" Adam felt himself becoming frustrated with her stubbornness. He wanted to shake her. "Look, you're a smart woman. You have to know that there could be consequences."

Eloise stood up and began to pace the kitchen. "Well, since you seem to know so much, what do you suggest I do, Mr. Cartwright?'

"Return to Chicago. Go to the law and tell them about the money. For all you know, there's a warrant for your arrest." Adam wished he hadn't said that; her face turned ashen.

"Arrest?" She froze and stared at him. "I could be arrested?"

Adam stood up. "I don't think you would be. I shouldn't have said that. I just think you need to return to Chicago and take care of all these loose ends. It could be a serious matter." Adam tried to make his tone softer. She frustrated him but he lessened the paternal tone in his voice; he realized that he was speaking to Eloise the same way his father had always spoken to him and his brothers when they were children and had done something risky and fool-hardy. But Eloise Logan wasn't a child.

"No," she said, beginning to panic. "I'll never go back to Chicago. I can't." Eloise looked up at Adam as he watched her, his worry obvious. "And who would take care of the shop and milk Pansy and…" Eloise's chin quivered and then she sat down heavily in the kitchen chair and dropped her head onto her folded arms on the table top and sobs escaped her. "I can't do this anymore. I just can't. It's too much. Everything's too much!"

Adam felt helpless. He didn't know if he should pat her on the shoulder or tell her not to worry. But that would have been a lie. Adam thought that she should be worried, as worried as he was. And if he reached out for her, touched her and she threw off his hand, he didn't know how he would react to being so overtly rejected.

"Mrs. Logan, please. I know it's been hard for you, especially after what your aunt told me. You have my sympathy…"

Eloise snapped upright. "I don't want your sympathy nor do I need it." The burst of anger seemed to do what Adam's attempt at consolation couldn't; Eloise pulled herself together and wiped her cheeks. "All right, Mr. Cartwright. I'll listen to what you have to say. If you think I should return to Chicago, I will."

Adam slowly sat back down and watched her. He wasn't sure anymore how he felt about Eloise or how she felt about him; all he knew was that he ached to hold her and that he wanted desperately to help her but he also knew that he shouldn't allow a woman's tears to get to him. His father's attempt to help her had entangled them in this situation.

"All right. We'll go see Hiram Wood, my family's lawyer. You'll have to tell him about the money, show him these letters, and then you need to follow his advice."

"I can't afford a lawyer as you pointed out to me before." She looked straight ahead of her at the wall, her hands folded on the table but she was actually holding herself together. She regretted having cried in front of Adam; he would think she was just a weak woman and treat her in a patronizing manner as men always did. Eloise knew that kindness and gentleness were valuable qualities but she also felt that these same qualities, when directed at her, also made her feel inferior.

"You don't need to worry about that. As your investor, I'll pay for it-or should I say, the Ponderosa will pay for it."

"Thank you," she said coldly. "That's kind of you. Is there anything else that you think I should do?"

"Yes," Adam said. "Get yourself a husband to run this business for you or better yet, to support you so that you can get shed of this whole thing. You have such little money left in the bank here that if you keep withdrawing it to support this losing enterprise, well, then we all lose, don't we?"

"Well, since you have your own pecuniary interest at heart, whom do you recommend as my rich husband? You father, perhaps? Maybe I can use the few charms that I have to win him over. What do you think?"

Adam felt his heart pound; he didn't want to even consider the possibility that something romantic might develop between Eloise Logan and his father. He stood up and looked down at her as she sat with outward calm but he noticed the tenseness of her mouth and the whiteness of her knuckles as she clasped her hands together on the tabletop. "You don't want to know what I think. When can you be ready to see Hiram?"

She seemed taken aback by his answer. She swallowed before she responded. "Give me two hours. I have to make another batch of pain au chocolat and then…."

But Adam cut her off. "Two hours then." He pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time. "Be ready at 10:45 and don't give me any excuses." And turning abruptly he left the kitchen and Eloise. She sat considering the conversation she had just had and the man with whom she had had it. She wasn't certain what to think. But she knew that she had better be ready in two hours so she stood up and went to wash her hands again before she rolled out the dough.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Adam was angry with himself for letting Eloise Logan upset him. He was also angry with himself for wanting to help her and for the tender feelings she engendered in him. He decided that he needed a beer and some time alone and headed over to the saloon. He needed to put distance between the two of them.

Adam walked up to the bar, looking around. The saloon had only one other customer, an old man who looked like a prospector by his dress, who sat nursing a whiskey.

"Mornin', Adam," Sam the barkeep said, "not like you to drink this early. Problems?" Sam stood opposite Adam.

"Well, today's an exception-problems. Draw me a beer, would you?"

"Sure will." Sam drew a mug of beer and handed it to Adam who tossed some coins on the bar and then walked over to a table in the corner. He needed to pull himself together and get rid of his anger before he took Mrs. Logan to see Hiram Wood; her remark about encouraging his father cut him. He didn't believe that his father was romantically interested in Eloise-at least not yet. But Adam also knew that should Eloise decide that she wanted to marry Ben Cartwright, that she could do it. She was beautiful enough and determined enough to do anything although he had yet to see her turn on any charm-especially where he, himself, was concerned. Just the opposite; she seemed determined to keep him at arm's length. But Adam knew that he was physically drawn to Eloise Logan and after what Miss Handley had told him, Adam felt a tenderness toward her that he hadn't felt toward anyone in a long time. And he admired Eloise's bravery. She had survived her losses and the fear that arose over her husband's murder and made a new life for herself. But despite it all, Eloise was sadly naïve and that made Adam want to protect her. He decided that he would, no matter how much she fought him; she had to be protected from herself, from her own stubbornness and her ignorance of the ways of the world.

But he couldn't get her words out of his head; "And who do you recommend as my rich husband? You father, perhaps?" And the image of Eloise Logan and his father sweating up the sheets made Adam shift his position in his chair. If that happened, if his father married Eloise, Adam knew that he would have to move out, would even have to leave the Nevada territory; he didn't think he could ever get far enough away where he wouldn't long for Eloise's mouth and her arms and the smoothness of her white body next to his. And he ached for her with a sadness that overwhelmed him.

"Crying in your beer," he whispered to himself. "Pathetic."

~ 0 ~

"She's upstairs," Miss Handley told Adam. "You can go through the kitchen." Miss Handley had her hands full with five female customers who were in for a light lunch of croissants and cheese. Adam tipped his hat to them and the women smiled back and one told him good morning. They looked at one another; they all knew that Adam Cartwright and his possible business in the café would be the topic of their conversation.

Adam walked into the kitchen and out its back door into the area which had the stairwell and Eloise was almost to the bottom step. She was demurely dressed in a maroon flannel suit with a small, plain hat on her head. "You're early. Was it to catch me up?"

"No," Adam said, his sarcastic tone obvious. "I just couldn't bear being away from you any longer. Lets' go." And Adam offered her his arm out of politeness. She hesitated and Adam wondered if she would insult him by refusing; he was ready to tell her to go to hell and leave if she did. But she didn't. She glanced up at him and then she took his arm, placing her arm in his and they went out the back of the shop and around to the front and began to walk toward Hiram Wood's office.

"I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you," Eloise said quietly, her head slightly bowed. "I am grateful to you, Mr. Cartwright, you and your family. You were trying to help me and I was rude." She looked up at Adam and his brow was furrowed.

"Adam," he stated.

"What?"

"Call me Adam."

"All right. Adam. You may call me Eloise-if you choose. This conversation seems familiar." And she was relieved to see a gentle smile soften his mouth. Eloise sighed softly and leaned slightly into him, her arm entangled in his. But Adam's heart was entangled with hers. Had he any doubts before about his feelings toward Eloise Logan, he no longer did; he had fallen in love with her and kept glancing at her all the way to the lawyer's, thinking how lovely she was.

~ 0 ~

"So," Adam said, helping himself to fried potatoes, "Mrs. Logan and I are leaving tomorrow for Chicago. She promised to follow Hiram's advice and that's what he said she should do."

"Just you and her?" Joe asked and then he looked to his father who sat, not eating and staring stonily at Adam.

"Why not?" Adam asked.

Ben finally spoke. He had listened silently as Adam related the contents of the letters he had found in the ledger and their implications and the information he had received from Hiram. Hiram had told them that there would be questions asked that Eloise would have to answer-just her word stating that she had no knowledge of any crimes or the source of the money wouldn't be enough. There were also new banking regulations now that the federal government was becoming more involved in banks and controlling the printing of money. If any property Eloise owned was the result of profits of her husband's "business" or his partners, Eloise could lose it.

But Adam had been careful not to tell his father or brothers too much about Eloise herself; she wouldn't have appreciated it the same way that Adam wouldn't have liked a breach in his privacy.

"Because it doesn't look right. Take Hoss along with you," Ben said.

"Hey, why not me?" Joe said. "Take me with you! I want to go to Chicago!"

"I'm not taking anyone else with me. I need to ask you, Hoss, if you'd stop by the bakery and see if Miss Handley needs any help. I talked them into hiring Janie Scott to milk the cow and collect the eggs every morning." Adam waited, expressionless; he knew that Janie Scott was a pretty young redhead.

"Janie, huh?" Hoss said, grinning. "Yeah, I think I can stop by."

"Well, I'll just stop by with you," Joe said. "You check on Miss Handley and I'll see about helping Janie."

"Oh, no you don't" Hoss replied. "Adam done asked me…"

"Wait a minute-all of you.' Ben said with a heavy sigh. "Now, Adam, if you go, you'll be gone at least a month and with Hoss and Joe running into town to help out Miss Handley-and Janie Scott, well, nothing much is going to get done around here."

"Isn't that what we pay all the ranch hands for?" Joe asked.

"Now listen here, young man," Ben said, pointing his finger at Joe, "I'll say who does what and if you aren't here-if none of you are here in the morning, who's going to supervise the ranch hands and the mines and the timbering? Tell me that?"

Joe looked down at his plate; he knew their father was right. "Well, how 'bout we take turns going into town. And it's not as if we'd be gone all day-just until about noon."

"We'll talk about it later," Ben said. "Now let's eat our dinner." And silence prevailed as they finished their meal. But Adam knew that it wasn't over and he was correct.

Later that evening as Adam was packing for the trip, Ben knocked on his door and then opened it.

"I've been expecting you," Adam said as he folded shirts. "I have to remember to pack my best suit but I have a feeling that my clothes will be a little behind the times in Chicago."

"Take a nice vest," Ben said. "And take that bowler hat. You know, the one you've had since college. Hats don't really go out of style."

"I thought you'd tell me that I shouldn't be going," Adam said, facing his father who stood with his hands in his pockets.

"Well, actually I am. I understand that you want to help Mrs. Logan-I feel the same way, but if this is a legal matter, I don't think we should get involved. I didn't know about her husband's possible criminal activity and I don't want our name to become involved."

"I told Eloise I'd help her-she refused to do anything about it at first and I know that I should have just let her take any consequences from her actions but…I can't. I don't really know why. As many times as I just wanted to tell her that it's her problem and that she needs to handle it, I couldn't. I just couldn't leave her to face Chicago and any trouble alone."

Ben sighed and sat on the bed next to the open portmanteau. "So you've taken to calling her Eloise?'

"Since I know so much about her, yes. I've taken to calling her Eloise. She gave me permission. You call her Eloise."

Ben looked at his tall dark-haired son and saw himself twenty years earlier. "I envy you in a way."

Adam looked quizzically at his father. "Envy me? Why?"

"Because of Eloise Logan. If I were you, I'd run off with her too. And I would enjoy every moment spent in her company but even if it were me going with her, it still shouldn't be. A man and a woman traveling together unmarried, well, maybe Miss Handley should go along as a chaperone."

Adam laughed. "Pa, Eloise is no young, virginal girl and I hope you know that I can be trusted alone with a woman. You can't believe that I'd force myself on her."

"It doesn't matter what I think, it's what others think."

"The hell with what others think." Adam noticed the worried look on his father's face. "Don't worry, Pa. I won't drag the Cartwright name through the mud." And Adam put his hand on his father's shoulder.

Ben gave a small smile to Adam. "Just take care, Adam."

"I always do, Pa."

Ben left and Adam sat down on the bed. He knew that his father was right; he was running off with Eloise because he wanted to spend time alone with her. But he continued to pack and in the morning, he and Eloise Logan left on the early stage for the first leg of their trip to Chicago and in two weeks, a courier brought a wire from Adam Cartwright for Ben Cartwright of the Ponderosa, Nevada Territory. The contents told of Adam's marriage to the former Mrs. Thomas Logan and Ben had to sit down; the news hit him hard.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The other passengers on the stage and then the train, assumed that Adam and Eloise were husband and wife although they spoke little to each other. But there was something about the way they sat next to one another and the manner in which they spoke to one another when they did speak that hinted at an intimacy. And Adam was always aware of Eloise even when in conversation with a fellow traveler.

"So," a female passenger on the coach asked Eloise with a smile, "how long have you two been married?" The woman was sitting opposite Eloise and Adam.

Eloise barely hesitated. "Three years."

Adam glanced at Eloise and suppressed a smile.

"Any children?" the woman asked Eloise.

"No, no children."

"At least, not yet," Adam said and Eloise turned to glare at him. He grinned in response.

"Well, that will happen soon enough, I'm sure. I have three myself, all boys. The oldest is twelve…" Eloise listened politely as the woman went on about her children and Adam slouched down in his seat and pulled his hat down over his eyes. Later he would have to tell Eloise what a cool liar she was. When Adam did, she had replied that it was easier to lie than to explain.

When they reached Denver to pick up the rail line to Chicago, it was a little past five and dusk was falling. Adam sensed how weary Eloise was. She shrugged it off by saying that she never traveled well. So Adam stored Eloise's trunks at the station and taking the least luggage with them, Adam asked where a good hotel was. Following the clerk's advice on where to stay, Adam led Eloise to the Grand Hotel which was less than grand but decent. Adam asked for two rooms and a young boy took their luggage upstairs. At her room door, Eloise stopped and turned to Adam.

"What is it?" Adam asked. Her face was drawn and she looked sad.

"I can't let you do all this."

"What? What can't you let me do?"

"This-paying for all this. Doing what you're doing. I just can't let you. I'm no one to you. I can't let you do this anymore."

"And what are you going to do then? How are you going to pay for it? It's a little late to back out and claim fiduciary morality."

"I don't want to back out-I just want to give up. It's too much." Her voice broke and Adam feared that she was going to cry. It had been hard on her, all of it and he knew it. She had left her livelihood, left what security she believed she had and had no idea what she would find in Chicago. Hiram had talked about possible prosecution and that she may be charged as an accomplice but that he was certain that her ignorance of the whole matter could easily be shown. Eloise just needed to make sure that she had a good lawyer. Eloise reassured him that she had a lawyer in Chicago, one who had been with her family for as long as she could remember.

"Just go lie down for a bit and then we'll get something to eat."

"But Adam…"

"I'll come get you in an hour. Go freshen up and lie down a while. We'll talk then-at dinner."

An hour later, Adam came for Eloise and she still looked tired but she had put rouge on her cheeks and lips to hide her paleness. They went to the restaurant in the hotel and Adam ordered for them both and Eloise merely picked at her food once it was brought.

"The steak is good," Adam said. "You really should eat some." He had noticed how little she was eating and it concerned him. "The bread is good too. Not as good as what you make in your bakery, of course, but it's tolerable with enough butter. Speaking of butter, d'you think Pansy misses you, misses your gentle touch?"

Eloise looked up from her food and it was as if for the first time she saw Adam. Eloise realized that he was making a joke about Pansy and she smiled. He was trying to cheer her up and her heart filled with gratitude.

"Well," Adam said, leaning in a bit, "what do you know? You can smile. I believe that's the first time I've seen you smile. You should smile more."

"There hasn't been much to smile about," she said and looked back down at her food. Suddenly she felt self-conscious and uncomfortable. "Perhaps I should eat more." And she began to slice her steak into small pieces.

Adam shifted in his seat. He knew what he wanted to talk about because he had done nothing but think about it since Eloise had told the woman in the coach that they were married. From then on, the thought of marrying Eloise had never left him and he fancied how it would be to have her as his wife.

"Have you thought of marrying again?" Adam asked, his voice deep in his throat; he could barely utter the words.

"No," she answered. "Why would I marry again?"

"You might fall in love and want to marry."

She gave a small snort of disdain. "Once I believed in that-marrying for love but no more. You may not believe it but when I was a young girl, I had imagined that one day a handsome man would sweep me up in his arms and take care of me forever and we would be so happy and have beautiful children and live a wonderful life together just like in a novel. But that was when I was a young girl; I know better now. What does it say in the Bible? When I was a child…I forget the verse."

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly…"

"Yes." Eloise sat as if in a trance, staring ahead. "Everything is dark now-through a glass, darkly-and I regret so much, I've lost so much but it seems now that I can lose even more." The tears welled in her eyes.

And Adam wanted to hold her, she touched his heart so. He wanted to make her happy, to see her smile again. He knew he couldn't wipe away her past pain but he also knew that maybe he could make her future happier.

"We could marry," Adam said quietly.

Eloise focused her eyes and stared at him. "You would want to marry me? Why? You don't love me and I don't love you. We barely know each other. Don't you think you should marry someone you love?"

"You just said you don't believe in that and I have my doubts as well. Maybe people shouldn't marry for love. 'The heart is deceitful above all things and to ourselves desperately wicked; who can know it?' Why should anyone follow a deceitful heart? Maybe we fool ourselves into thinking we're in love for after all, what is it really?"

"If you ever had a child, then you would know what love is. It's an emotion beyond comprehension. Even feeling it yourself, you can't understand it. We may think we love the man or woman we marry but that type of love pales by comparison." Eloise watched Adam's face.

"You just assume that what you feel is the same for others." Adam leaned in even closer to Eloise. "Maybe a man can love a woman that way, with a tenderness and caring and an effacement of the self where the loved one is all there is, all that exists for them. You have to agree that it's possible."

Eloise sat quietly, thinking about what Adam had said. She didn't know that his pulse was pounding in his ears, that it had taken him great courage to approach her with the proposal of marriage.

"What would you want from the marriage?" Eloise asked. "From me?"

Adam's hopes rose. She seemed to be considering his proposition. "You. I just want you. I would try my best to see that you never had to suffer another day but in exchange, I would get you and you would have to tolerate me. But then I have a feeling you can tolerate quite a bit. You're very strong."

"No, I'm not strong. I'm just resigned to the fact that I can't go on struggling, that in this world I need a man to do for me. I just can't manage on my own. Are you asking me to marry you?"

"Yes."

"Then I will. I'll be your wife and I'll do what you ask of me. After all, I suppose in a way that you're buying me. My mother always told me that a wife gives of herself, of her person and in exchange, the husband takes care of her. And I'm so tired of struggling to take care of my Aunt Martha and myself. Will you take care of her as well? Please?"

"Yes," Adam said, "I'll take care of her too. The train leaves in the afternoon. We can be married by the justice of the peace in the morning. Now you need to eat more dinner." And they sat and finished their meal before going up to their separate rooms. And Eloise cried herself to sleep as she finally let herself remember the death of her parents and of her precious child and the face of her dead husband staring blankly with his throat slit. And Adam lay on his bed in the dark, thinking of the wall between the two of them that would disappear after tonight. He knew there would be a wall between them still-Eloise wouldn't easily take it down but there would be no more physical separation and perhaps, in that way, he could come to know her and understand her and she would let him into her world and maybe, just maybe, love him in return.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Wait," Adam said. Eloise looked at him, confused, and then surprised as he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the hotel room in Chicago. Adam carried her over to the bed and bending slightly, he dropped her and she sunk into the down coverlet. He grinned down at her. "You had said that as a young girl, you had dreamed of being swept up by a handsome man. I don't know about the handsome part but I can give you the rest."

Eloise sat up and then swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. She straightened her collar and her skirts, embarrassed that her skirts had risen slightly and shown her legs with their black stockings. "If you're trying to fulfill my youthful fantasies, you have far to go. Remember that it's 'happy ever after,' more or less. I'll reserve my judgment until then." And she went to the mirror to remove the hatpins and her hat and she saw Adam's reflection behind her; there was no vestige of a smile left on his face and Eloise felt a pang of guilt. But, she told herself, he had asked her to marry him and she had been clear with him-almost cruelly explicit, that she didn't love him but would accept his proposal. And he had never said that he loved her either. But she worried about the coming night together and what it may bring. When Adam had told her that he wanted "her," she took it to mean that he wanted her person, her body as every husband expects of a wife, and she had agreed. Nevertheless, she did have reservations. The act had never repulsed her, at times had even brought a slight pleasure but then she had loved her husband at the time. Eloise wondered how it would be with the "stranger" now in her room.

On the train, Adam had booked them a semi-private compartment and an older salesman as well as a woman and her teenage daughter were sharing the seats. At one end of the narrow compartment was a window and Eloise sat next to it and as the train flew across the territory, Eloise watched the scenery; it had an almost hypnotic effect. When fatigue overcame her, Eloise rested her head against the cool glass and closed her eyes. At the other end of the compartment was the narrow door leading out to the corridor and there were two small windows beside the door which also had a small window in it. Backed, cushioned benches ran along both sides and Eloise thought of how much it was like the interior of a stage with passengers awkwardly facing one another and being confined to a prescribed fifteen inches.

Eloise had kept wearing her husband, Thomas', wedding band, the narrow band of gold that he had given her and so, after the justice of the peace married her and Adam, Eloise continued to wear it; she had said that it was just a ring and that it really didn't indicate anything except that she wasn't unmarried and looking for a husband. And when Adam had reached over and held her gloved hand, he could feel the shape and hardness of the band on her finger. Adam made up his mind that he would buy Eloise a new ring when they were in Chicago. The lack of a wedding band from him only reinforced to Adam that Eloise was his wife in name only. But he took pleasure in clasping her hand on the train; to him, holding her hand bespoke that she was his wife.

The young girl in the compartment was smitten with Adam and Eloise found it amusing. The girl's name was Mirabelle and she engaged Adam in conversation about novels and poetry and she listened carefully to his opinions. Mirabelle asked Adam how he made his living and although he tried to underplay his family's wealth and holdings by stating that he was a glorified ranch hand, she was even more intrigued and her romantic curiosity was piqued. She prattled on about how she had just been out to Sacramento City and how exciting the whole trip had been. Adam politely listened and despite her mother's correction that she shouldn't take up so much of the gentleman's time, after all, he was married, Mirabelle continued. Eloise told the mother that it was fine and that she appreciated Mirabelle's interest; she, herself, wasn't one much for conversation so she was happy that her husband had someone with whom to converse. And she glanced at Adam who looked at her with an expression she didn't understand.

The night passed with Eloise leaning against the window despite Adam having told her that she could rest her head against him. Eloise declined and said that she was fine. Eloise finally had to admit to herself that she was afraid of Adam as far as his physicality-he seemed to overwhelm her and she needed to keep him at a distance. But during the night, she awoke from the salesman's snoring and glanced around the compartment. The gas light that was on the compartment wall had been turned down and a low flame burned and she watched Adam as he slept next to her. He had sunk down in the seat and his head bobbed slightly with the rhythm of the rails. Eloise looked at his mouth, at how tender and full his lips were and she wondered if they would ever kiss. He had kissed her on the cheek after the legal ceremony; she had turned her head slightly when he leaned down to kiss her and so he kissed her cheek. A tenderness for him suddenly welled up inside her and she gently shook his shoulder.

"What is it?" he asked, suddenly alert. "What's wrong?"

"Shh. Nothing's wrong. I just thought you might like to be more comfortable. You can lay your head on my lap if you like."

Adam looked at her for a few seconds and then he adjusted himself in the seat, turning on his side, and placed his head on her thighs, drawing his knees up slightly to fit. He closed his eyes as he made himself comfortable, crossing his arms across his chest "That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs," Adam mumbled and sighed before he drifted off again.

Eloise saw her reflection in the compartment window and realized that she was smiling. She well understand Adam's comment and that it was an allusion to "country matters" as Hamlet put it to Ophelia. And to herself, she softly spoke the lines:

"Lady, shall I lie in your lap?  
No, my lord.  
I mean my head upon your lap.  
Aye, my lord.  
Or did you think I meant country matters?  
I think nothing, my lord.  
That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs."

And Eloise looked down at Adam as he slept so peacefully. And despite his day's growth of beard, she thought how very beautiful he was-almost angelic in a manner, and she whispered, "Goodnight, sweet prince," and lightly stroked his hair. And a welling of emotion practically shook her, so she turned to the window and saw her reflection again. "Through a glass, darkly," she whispered. And she saw that she was crying.

But now they were in Chicago and she wanted to see the lawyer and all she felt for Adam was impatience. "There's still a few hours left for business today and I'm not hungry-can't we eat later? I believe that Mr. Cross will still be at his office and even if he couldn't see us right away, we could wait." She turned toward Adam. "I'd like to see him as soon as possible."

"All right," Adam was disappointed-he was hungry and he wanted to be alone with Eloise for a bit before they saw anyone else. "Let me shave and change into a suit and we'll go. You don't want your lawyer to think you've married some no-account cowboy now, do you?"

"That depends. Is it true?"

"Who else but a desperate, no-account would marry a woman who doesn't want him?" And he took his shaving gear and as he passed her, he swatted her on the rear. She jumped and put her hands protectively over her buttocks. Adam just chuckled and went into the attached washroom. And Eloise was left staring at a reflection in the mirror and what she saw was a humorless woman with a cruelly-set mouth. She saw a woman who was taking her pain out on someone who seemed to care about her. "Stop," she told her reflection. "Just stop. Be kind to him. And tonight, if he wants your body, allow it and be kind. He deserves whatever he desires and there's always a price anyway. It's not too much to pay."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Eloise and Adam waited in the outer office for Mr. Cross. Eloise was nervous and Adam held her gloved hand; she looked at him gratefully. Finally, they entered Cross' office and he rose to meet Eloise, hugging her and telling her he was so glad to see her again and how well she looked. He had wondered when she was going to return to Chicago and he asked if the authorities had required her return.

"No, no one required me." She turned pale at the ramifications of his comment. "Mr. Cartwright—oh, this is my husband, Adam Cartwright. Adam, Mr. Cross, my father's long-time lawyer." The men shook hands and then Eloise looked to Adam.

Adam knew by her face that she didn't want to continue explaining things. "Eloise and I consulted a lawyer in Virginia City and he advised us to return. That's why we're here. This is the matter in question." Adam handed the letters from the bank to Mr. Cross.

"Well, let's see what it is all about and what we can do." And Mr. Cross smiled comfortingly at Eloise and motioned for the two of them to sit in the chairs at his desk.

Mr. Cross perused the papers assiduously. The he sat back and steepled his fingers, resting his elbows on his stomach. Mr. Cross was a man in his sixties with a bald head and he obviously enjoyed his meals. But his eyes were kindly and although Adam was prone to trust him, he had to keep Eloise foremost in mind.

"Well, Mr. Cartwright, you're right. Very right. You two do have a problem." And Mr. Cross began to inform Adam and Eloise of all that had happened in the months that Eloise had been gone.

It seemed that Mr. Thomas Logan's murder was still unsolved. Although it could not be proven, it was supposed that he was the front man for investors who in reality owned all the property and that the money, that is the profits from the egregiously high rents, had been hidden. Investigation found that Thomas Logan had a business account entitled Logan Properties, Ltd., that had very little money in it and his personal account was too small to indicate any illegal activities as far as embezzlement or any such action on his part although the bank had conducted an internal investigation to confirm that Logan had not stolen from the establishment. A great deal of money that was assumed to be the profits from the properties, was found in a bank account in the name of Mrs. Eloise Logan and was opened by proxy according to the papers. Mr. Cross said that would serve as part of Eloise's defense that she had no knowledge of the account and the money. The bank had informed her of the account as the letters attested but she did nothing about it and that may go against her. But even though Eloise had never removed any of the money and since she left Chicago for no known destination, her behavior appeared to indicate guilt.

The money, of course, had been frozen; even Eloise wouldn't be able to withdraw any and he would suppose that the authorities may be at this very time searching for her. Eloise gripped Adam's hand for support.

"Well," Adam asked, "what do you suggest that she do? My own thought is for us to go to the law and inform them of Eloise's identity and offer to cooperate in any investigation."

"My thoughts exactly but for old time's sake and the respect for her father and mother and our long-standing friendship as well, and by extension, Eloise, let me go to the authorities on your behalf. I'll take the letters and tell them that my client is willing to co-operate as long as she is free from prosecution. I'll be the intermediary."

"Oh, Mr. Cross," Eloise said, "thank you so much. I can't tell you how relieved…"

"Wait just a minute," Adam interrupted. "We haven't put you on retainer yet. And other than the long-standing friendship with her parents, how do I know that you have Eloise's best interests at heart?"

Eloise was shocked but Mr. Cross just laughed. "Very true, Mr. Cartwright, very true. I am more than willing to perform the services gratis. After all, it doesn't require that much of me to seek out amnesty for her, but you do have a point; there is always the alternative that they will refuse and insist on taking Eloise into custody and she would need more than just my approaching them. If you would prefer to put me on retainer, you may pay my clerk my usual fee."

Adam breathed deeply. "I'll do that. Eloise and I are staying at the Majestic Hotel. When can we expect to hear from you?"

"Let me check my schedule." Mr. Cross flipped open a book that had dates and times written in a fine hand. Then he crossed out something, wrote in another item and looked to Adam. "Expect me around two o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully, I'll have good news for you."

The men rose, shook hands and Adam wrote a draft to the clerk and taking Eloise by the arm, he took her out onto the street. "Let's go find something to eat. Where would you suggest." And Eloise named a fine restaurant in Chicago. So Adam hailed a cab and gave the address and soon they had eaten and were back in the hotel room with nothing to say to one another.

Eloise looked at the large bed in the middle of the bedroom. Adam had taken a suite and the bedroom was off a sitting room that had a sofa and two chairs along with the fireplace that was two-sided; the bedroom had the other side. It was cool in the evenings and the bell hop came to see if they wanted a fire built. Adam said yes and the young man quickly went about pulling wood and pieces of fat-lighter from the fireboxes and built a fire in both rooms. Adam sat on the sofa enjoying the beauty of the fire after the bell hop left. It was a beautiful room with fresh flowers in vases and plush carpets on the wood floors.

"Come and sit by me," Adam said to Eloise who had begun to pace.

Eloise stood in indecision and then she went and sat beside him. "I want to thank you for what you did. I appreciate that you paid the money to put Mr. Cross on retainer."

"You're welcome," he said, "but after all, you are my wife and my money is also yours…but, Eloise, I need to know the truth. Did you have any idea what your husband was doing?"

"How can you think…?" But she stopped. Adam was looking at her as if searching for the mere vestiges of an untruth.

"I already know what a convincing liar you can be." He placed his arm behind her on the back of the couch and casually stretched out his legs.

"I didn't know what Thomas was doing. That's the truth. I did have suspicions that he was involved in something bad. When those men would arrive, Thomas' whole mien would change. I thought that he may be stealing money from the bank but I'm glad that wasn't it."

"You prefer that he be responsible for the spread of cholera among the poor? That his name be attached to a plague of cholera?"

Eloise sat forward on the sofa and turned to face Adam. "He wasn't responsible. I don't think that Thomas had a choice. He was just the...scapegoat."

"Oh, Eloise, he was no scapegoat. Why do you think he hid that money in an account with your name? Answer that? Didn't he even consider that you would then have to be involved?"

Eloise stared at Adam for a few seconds. "What is it? Do you want me to hate him? Do you think that if I hate my dead husband that I'll love you? Is that it?"

"No, of course not but you have to be realistic about what he might possibly…"

"I don't want to hear anymore." Eloise arose from the sofa. "I'm going to bed and I would prefer it if you would just sleep out here tonight." And Eloise turned on her heel and went into the bedroom, slamming the door for emphasis.

Adam shook his head. He had watched Eloise's face and saw trepidation and he felt that he knew what it was; she was afraid of the coming night and so she needed to be justifiably angry and insulted. She therefore, could avoid him, refuse him should he try to take her. So Adam sat back against the cushions. He would give her time, wait awhile and then go in to sleep. And he would see what would happen.

When Adam came out of the washroom, Eloise was asleep—at least she had her back to him and seemed to be asleep but Adam doubted it. Although he hadn't been overly noisy, the flushing of the water closet alone would have awoken her so he suspected that she was just lying there, waiting. In a manner, it amused him. But in another way, it roused his tenderness. He did care deeply for Eloise and didn't want to see her having to resort to pretense just to delay what she probably felt would be not only unpleasant but perhaps even unfaithfulness. Eloise had never told him the details of her relationship with her husband and he had never really asked. But perhaps, Adam thought, she had loved him deeply and he felt a twinge of envy-if Eloise would only love him the way she had Thomas, he wouldn't feel the destructive emotion that ate at him.

Adam sat on the edge of the bed and lifted the sheet and blanket and slid under them. He looked at the back of Eloise's head sunk into the down pillow, amazed as always at how small she was. He moved next to her on the bed and kissed the back of her neck after pushing aside the long braid of hair. Adam nuzzled against her skin to smell her scent and he felt an overwhelming desire to take his rightful position as her husband so he reached for her and pulled her closer. Then he heard her quick intake of breath and felt her body stiffen.

"Good night, Eloise," he said. And Adam kissed the nape of her neck again and then rolled over so they would sleep back to back. Eloise felt the shift in the bed and stared into the darkness. And despite what she had thought she wanted, Eloise found herself feeling abandoned and silent tears wet her cheeks and the soft linen of her pillow. She lay awake for most of the night, listening to Adam's breathing, remembering how he had looked as he slept on the train. He was so very beautiful that he broke her heart.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The sun slanting in the window finally hit Adam's face and he rolled over to avoid it and opened his eyes; he was alone and there was silence.

"Eloise?' Adam called out her name as he pulled on his trousers and buttoning them up, he headed to the outer room of the suite. Eloise was pacing back and forth in front of the sofa, twisting a handkerchief with her hands. When Adam saw that she was there, that she hadn't left, a wave of relief came over him; he had feared that she had run away from Chicago as she had done before. Adam glanced at the mantle clock and saw that it was past eight.

Eloise glanced at him and then averted her eyes; he was bare-chested, bare-footed, and she was embarrassed. "Would you put on a shirt please?"

Adam went back into the bedroom and grabbed the shirt he had worn the day before and slipped it on, buttoning it as he walked.

"Better?"

"Yes. Thank you. There's coffee. I asked the desk to send some up." She nodded toward a side table and the tray on it that held the coffee pot, cups, saucers, sugar and cream.

Adam poured himself a cup and then sat down in a side chair to drink it. "Why are you so worried? Mr. Cross won't get back to us until at least two this afternoon; there's no sense worrying until then."

"How can you be so nonchalant? What if they hang me?"

"Eloise, they're not going to hang you. Shoot you maybe, but not hang you."

Eloise caught her breath and then by the small grin on Adam's face, she realized that he was just trying to make a joke.

"I don't think that's very funny. And even if I weren't worried about that, I can't help but worry about my Aunt Martha and the shop. She's never been alone before and what if something happens? She won't know what to do. What if she gets sick? And that girl you hired, that Janie what's-her-name. What if she quits and leaves my Aunt Martha to do it all herself? And what if there's a fire in the kitchen? My aunt gets a bit flustered sometimes and forgets things. The whole place would burn."

Adam sat down his coffee and walking over to Eloise, put his hands on her upper arms and made her face him. "Eloise, you're working yourself into a state. You're just looking for things to worry about."

"But these things could happen and if I go to jail, what is my Aunt Martha going to do? Who's going to take care of her?" And Eloise broke into tears.

Adam pulled her to him and she lay her head against his chest. He crooned to her soothingly as one does a crying child. "I know you're worried and that you're afraid but you don't have to be." And between sobs, Eloise said that she had to worry since he certainly didn't do any worrying; someone had to be worried.

Adam put his lips into her hair and murmured words of comfort. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. And Hoss and Joe are helping your Aunt Martha. There's not going to be a kitchen fire and Pansy's milk isn't going to dry up because Janie is going to be there to milk her every day. The chickens will continue to lay eggs and all will be well. Now stop concerning yourself over what's going on back home. If you want to worry about something, worry about feeding me breakfast."

Eloise looked up at Adam and he was grinning down at her. With his arms around her and the warmth of his body next to her, Eloise did feel safe. Then Adam's face changed. The expression in his eyes was subtly different and Eloise recognized it. She knew that it was the look of desire, had seen it in her husband's eyes and what always followed so she pulled away. Adam confused her. Eloise's feelings toward Adam were a mingling of fear, caution and the beginnings of carnality and she didn't know how to suppress the cacophony of emotions so she chose to avoid them. She preferred not to deal with Adam and the conflagration that so obviously burned in his veins.

"I'm not hungry," Eloise said. "The coffee was enough for me but you can go down to the restaurant to eat." She had her back to him.

"Fine," he said. "That's fine. I'll eat breakfast alone and you can continue to worry and pace up here." And Adam went into the bedroom to finish dressing. He sat on the bed and pulled on one boot but when he had the other in his hand, he flung it against the wall and Eloise heard the thud. She knew Adam was angry with her and she told herself that she didn't care. He had asked her to marry him, not the other way around and he would just have to deal with it. But she hadn't fully convinced herself.

~ 0 ~

Adam sat in a side chair, one leg thrown over the arm, reading one of the books that was in the hotel sitting room. Eloise had asked him what he was reading and he said that it was "Pilgrim's Progress." He had read it before but it was an interesting book; it made the reader think about vanity and avarice and lust and many other sins that can consume a person.

"Doesn't sound like anything I would like to read." Eloise walked over to the window and looked down onto the street below.

"Not worried about the state of your soul or is it that you don't want to be reminded?"

Eloise turned quickly, her eyes flashing with quick anger. "I have no fears about the state of my soul-I just know what sounds boring and that book sounds boring. But I can understand your concerns about your soul."

Adam closed the book and threw it on the low table in front of the sofa. "Oh? And what about my soul should I be worried?"

Eloise wished that she had never said anything. To her, Adam was like a puma who was about to pounce at any opportunity. "Nothing." She turned back to the window. She heard Adam get up and she sensed his presence behind her; it was as if he gave off a vibration she could feel.

Then she heard his voice behind her but he didn't sound angry but tender. "Are you that unhappy, Eloise? Are you? I'm trying all I know to make you feel safe and give you what you need but it seems that I don't know what it is. What is it, Eloise? What would make you happy? Just tell me."

Eloise didn't want to turn around and look into Adam's face; she would break down again. So she answered Adam without looking at him. "There's nothing, Adam. I am who I am-as regrettable as that is-and I can't change who I am any more than you can change who you are."

There was silence between them and then Adam said, "Get your hat and gloves; we're going out."

"But Mr. Crown?"

"He won't be here until two this afternoon and it's not even noon. I've never really seen Chicago before, just passed through. Let's go."

~ 0 ~

Adam and Eloise walked through the busy, bustling streets of Chicago. Buildings were under construction since the city was growing so rapidly, and all around them they heard German and Dutch and the lovely, lilting Irish voices among the workers. Adam pointed out a type of bracing that was being used on a building and that was when, after asking how he knew about bracings and cornerstones and such, Eloise found that Adam had a degree in architecture and engineering.

"Well," she said. "I guess you're not a no-account cowboy. You're a no-account engineer."

And Adam looked to Eloise to see if she was insulting him but when he saw her smile, he laughed and bent over and surprising her, he kissed Eloise on the mouth. It was just a light kiss but it was the first time and Eloise was surprised; she didn't know what to say so she said nothing. And Adam continued to point out different aspects of the buildings they passed.

"What time is it, Adam?"

"It's 1:20. We need to start back to the hotel." And so they walked back, but in taking a different street, they passed an ice cream parlor.

"Oh, Adam, could I have some ice cream? I haven't had any in so long. Please?"

"Of course." Adam was pleased that his plan had worked. The sunshine, the exercise and now, hopefully, a treat, would raise Eloise's spirits. And as they sat at a small table eating vanilla ice cream, Adam listened to Eloise as she talked about the first time she had tasted it. It had been snowing and their cook made "snow ice cream," thickening the cream, eggs, sugar and vanilla in a pile of snow as she turned a crank to keep the mixture churning. And Eloise had a chance to turn the crank first while it was mostly liquid but as it became more difficult, the cook turned the crank and then Eloise's father finished. And Eloise told Adam how she had danced and played in the snow, constantly asking if the ice cream was ready yet.

And Adam fell more in love with her. As Eloise talked, Adam saw vestiges of the lovely, happy child she had once been. And that was what he wanted for her-to return to a state where she was happy and would dance and laugh and hopefully, the pain she had suffered would recede into the background and allow her to live in the present and hope for the future. And when Eloise decided that she no longer had to protect herself the way a hedgehog protects its soft underbelly by rolling itself in a ball and showing only its prickles, maybe she would let him in. Adam was convinced that Eloise just needed time-and tenderness.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"So I'll meet you at the courthouse at eight in the morning, room C. Both the local authorities and the federal banking official will be there," Mr. Cross said. "And, Mr. Cartwright, please make certain that Eloise is there on time. If she's not there, they'll issue a warrant for her arrest."

"Do they know where she's staying in Chicago?" Adam asked.

"No. At least I didn't tell where you two were, just that she had returned to Chicago. Nor did I give her new name. But there's no telling what they already know."

Eloise had sat quietly while Mr. Cross had told of his conversation with the police detectives. They had said that they had suspects in the murder of Thomas Logan but couldn't arrest them and charge them since the evidence was weak; just that Logan had been seen in the bank talking to certain men, men whom they suspected of other crimes. Because of the vague circumstantial evidence of mere association, they needed Eloise to identify the men, that is, if they were the ones who had visited her husband the night he had his throat slit. Once that was done, the authorities would be able to find out who was the actual head of what seemed to be a more widespread criminal organization that was spreading to prostitution and illegal alcohol importation and distribution and hopefully, quash it before it became too great. They were dangerous men and Eloise, if she would cooperate as she said she would, would be key in prosecuting them and the first charge against them would be murder.

"It's that serious," Eloise quietly asked.

"Yes, Eloise," Mr. Cross said, "it's that serious." The lawyer turned to Adam. "Well, I have some paperwork to tend to that is pertinent to this case. I need to prepare some briefs that need to be ready no matter what tact the authorities may take." Mr. Cross started to gather up his papers but stopped and turned to Adam again. "I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I may have to refer you to a fellow lawyer who's had more experience in this type of thing depending how tomorrow works out. It seems that lawyers now are dividing themselves up into specialties and maybe, just maybe it's for the best. Laws are changing so much and so quickly and with banks now being chartered by the federal government other than the state, it raises all sorts of problems. It's not enough just to know the laws of the city and the state, but now federal laws play into matters as well. So, please be there tomorrow, Mr. Cartwright." He walked a little closer to Adam and in a low voice said, "Take care of Eloise. She's had so much to deal with in the past few years. I'm glad she's not alone."

"I will. And we'll be there by eight." Adam and Mr. Cross shook hands and the lawyer said goodbye to Eloise and left. But Eloise, who had barely acknowledged Mr. Cross' departure, still sat silent.

Adam sat beside her on the sofa and watched Eloise. He knew she was thinking about the gravity of the situation and her earlier cheerful mood had dissipated.

"Eloise," Adam said quietly, "It's not as bad as you think."

She finally raised her head and looked at him. "You don't know what I think and you also don't know how serious this is. They're going to put out a warrant for me."

"No, they won't because we're going to be there at 8:00. You'll see. It'll all work out."

"Adam, you can't do this for me and you can't make it go away."

"No, I can't do either of those things but I can go through it with you. We can face this together."

Eloise stood up. "I want to leave. We can leave Chicago tonight."

"Eloise, haven't you been listening to anything? We can't leave. Besides, the authorities would find you eventually. Do you think I can hide you on the Ponderosa? Stick you in some line shack for the rest of your life?"

"You don't have to come with me. I can go by myself. I can leave on the train tonight. I won't know where I'm going until I leave so even you won't know either and they won't be able to do anything to you. Don't you see? That's the only answer. I have to leave-tonight. Just promise me that you'll take care of my aunt." Eloise turned to the bedroom but Adam grabbed her arm and swung her around.

"What goes on in that head of yours that you think you can just get on a train and avoid both the local and federal authorities? Eloise, you can't run away from this. You have to face things."

She tried to pull away from him. "I don't want to and I don't have to. I want to go. I want to leave." Her voice cracked. "I just want to forget all this-everything. I want to go…I'm so tired of being afraid and…"

"Eloise, Eloise, listen to me." he held her face in his hands and with his thumbs, wiped away the few tears on her cheeks; she hadn't completely given in to a crying jag. "You can't run away from all your problems. And after tomorrow morning, we'll have a better idea of how things stand. We might be able to leave then and only come back to Chicago if they need you."

Eloise seemed to calm down then and Adam breathed more easily. But he was still afraid that she would run, that he would wake up in the middle of the night and she would be gone. So Adam was determined to keep her from focusing on what was happening; if she thought too much about it, she would only panic again and want to run.

Adam found a deck of cards in a drawer and he taught Eloise how to play poker. It seemed to lighten up her mood, especially when she turned out to be a good player. She laughed delightedly when she won and so Adam decided that they would play for kisses.

Eloise looked at him with amusement. "If we play for kisses, aren't you always the winner?"

"Maybe I'm of the mind that you would be the winner if the prizes were that."

"The woman is never the winner," Eloise said. "Not when it has anything to do with a man." She became quiet again and Adam shuffled the cards, listening to the sound of the cards snapping onto each other.

"Well, what shall we play for then?"

Eloise stood up. "I'm tired of cards-of games of chance. I rarely win when it comes to chance-all the random things that happen in life."

The mantle clock struck six. They had needed to light a lamp an hour ago in order to continue playing and now night was almost completely fallen.

Adam placed the cards down and suggested they go eat. He gave Eloise a choice; the restaurant in the hotel or the one they had passed in their morning walk.

"I'm not really hungry," Eloise said. "My stomach is too tight. You go alone."

Adam lost all patience with her. "Oh, no, you don't. Wear what you have on or change clothes-I don't really care, but you're coming with me. We'll go to the French restaurant and you're going to eat. Then we're coming back here and if I have to tie you to the footboard, you're going to still be here in the morning to go to the courthouse. Understand?"

Eloise turned cold. "I understand. You've decided to bully me into doing what you want. Fine. I'll change and I'll go with you and I'll eat. And I'll go to the courthouse tomorrow and be there on time. And if they arrest me and put me in jail, I shall hate you forever." Then she went into the bedroom and Adam shook his head; he began to wish that he had never seen Eloise Logan, never met her and never fallen so desperately in love with her that despite it all, he never considered leaving her.

~ 0 ~

Adam unlocked the hotel room door and stepped aside so that Eloise could enter first. She took off her evening cape and threw it over a chair and then, after pulling off her gloves, tossed them on top. Adam had to admit that Eloise, in her low-cut, cobalt-blue dress, looked stunning. The dress had been cut on the bias with a draped bodice and a fold of fabric that ran from the waist diagonally across to the other side and the hem flowed around her feet. She had pinned a brooch at the waist and the narrowness of the skirt followed the curves of her buttocks. Adam had never seen any of the women of Virginia City in such a dress and obviously, from the looks of the other diners, neither had most of them. Eloise had attracted the attention of almost every man in the restaurant. The women looked at her critically, judging her age, figure and possible wealth. And Adam found himself wanting to skip dinner and taking her back to the hotel to be alone with her.

"I'm going to bed," Eloise said and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Adam loosened his tie and took off his jacket, draping it over the back of the chair that matched the little secretary against the wall of the sitting room. He looked around. As they had left for dinner, Adam had asked for a bottle of brandy to be sent up and he saw that it had been along with some snifters. So Adam went to the low table in front of the sofa and poured himself some brandy, He sat down and crossed his feet on the table.

Adam needed a drink. During dinner, Eloise had been impossible. She had been gracious to the maitre d' and the waiter but to him, she had been cold. And he had to admit to himself that he hadn't been much better; he had been sarcastic and snide and now he was ashamed of himself. He had just wanted her so much and she had been so distant that he responded in his usual way when it came to protecting himself.

Adam drained his glass and sat and waited until the noises of Eloise readying for bed stopped and he saw the light go out under the door. He poured himself another brandy and when he finished it, he braced himself for going to bed. He opened the door and glanced at the bed but Eloise didn't stir. Adam undressed, his boots falling heavily to the floor, and slid into bed where he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

He wanted Eloise, burned for her, so he turned on his side and pulled her into his arms, turning her so that he held her against his chest and could look into her face. Her eyes stared up at him, her mouth open and Adam saw fear in her face.

"I want you Eloise. I've wanted you since I first saw you but that was nothing compared to how I feel tonight-after watching you all evening, how all the men wanted you, looked at you with such desire-I want you even more." He pulled Eloise to him and crushed her mouth with his. She made small sounds of protest while pushing against him with her hands but he continued to kiss her, to search for a response.

"Don't you want me, Eloise?" he whispered. "Tell me. Don't you want me? I'll please you, I promise that. I'll make you forget all the miseries of this life. I'll make you feel so good that you'll never want it to end." He kissed her again and felt a slight yielding to his mouth as her lips separated, her mouth softened, and he could probe her with his tongue, taste her, and the heat in his blood became greater. "Tell me, Eloise, do you want me? Do you? Do you want to do the deed of kind as men and women have done since the world began? Why should we be any different?"

Eloise felt his arms holding her and she had never felt so safe and his desire was different from Thomas'. And Adam was searching her face for some clue, something to let him know what he should do. And Eloise was tempted to tell him, no, no, she didn't want him. But she did want him, wanted him desperately so Eloise twined her arms around Adam's neck and returned his kiss and submitted herself to his passions and he aroused all the latent feelings that had been hiding inside her all those years.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The sounds of Eloise in the washroom woke Adam and he stretched, enjoying the memory of the night; Eloise's warmth was still with him; she was in his blood now, in his very bones. He sighed deeply and felt the stirrings of desire-he wanted her again. They had talked late into the night between their bouts of passion and Adam had told Eloise of his deep feelings for her, how much he cared for her and although Eloise hadn't been as forthcoming, she made it clear with her physical response that she took pleasure from him and for Adam, that was a beginning. And then she had whispered a confession-that she loved him.

The door opened and Eloise stepped out, completely dressed. She stopped when she saw Adam sit up and grin at her. "C'mere," he said, holding out his arms to her. "Let me kiss you."

"I need to finish getting ready; we don't have much time." Eloise walked past the bed and toward the vanity.

Adam made a derisive sound. "So that's how it is. That's how everything is for you, isn't it Eloise? You just pretend things didn't happen, just push them out of your mind. That may be your way, but it's not mine. I remember everything from last night, how you moaned and cried and shook. But I suppose that I'm to forget all that and to wipe out how you said, finally said, that you loved me."

Eloise sat at the vanity and started to put up her hair. "I was just…overwhelmed. I said what I thought you wanted to hear-the situation seemed to require it."

Adam laughed loudly, a self-deprecating laugh. "The situation required it. Oh, Eloise, you are something else. You should have been a whore by profession; you could forget your first customer and then take your second. And afterwards, he would be wiped out of your mind as well so you could spread your legs for the third." Adam pushed off the covers and walked around to stand behind Eloise's chair and she looked at his reflection. He leaned down and put his hands on her shoulders, his mouth close to her ear. "What if I took you now, Eloise? Just pulled you into the bed and had my way with you? I could, you know. But I won't. For some reason, I don't really want you-not anymore."

And Adam left Eloise and went into the washroom. She had watched him in the mirror as he walked away. Adam closed the door and Eloise found as she tried to pick up a hair pin that her hand was shaking-her whole body was shaking and she dropped her face into her hands and tried to compose herself before Adam came out and they had to leave for the courthouse.

Eloise felt the heat of humiliation rise in her cheeks. She had just done what she needed to do in order to go on. How could she face Adam after last night, after the way she had behaved? She had been wanton, wrapping herself around him, clinging to him, allowing him to kiss her in secret places to touch her where even she had never even touched herself and she had enjoyed it, reveled in it and he knew. He knew. She flushed again. Adam knew her now and that was the worst part for Eloise. She chastised herself; she should have just lain quietly and performed her duty. She should have been the receptacle of her husband's passion as she had been taught and not think of her own needs but Adam had aroused such feelings in her that she couldn't help herself. And Adam could use her night's uncontrolled passion against her whenever he chose; she had allowed herself to be vulnerable and she had sworn to herself after Thomas' death that she would never be in that position again, never be in a position to be hurt. And now it was too late to change anything.

Eloise was waiting for Adam to finish dressing. She sat stiffly on the sofa. Adam walked out of the bedroom and Eloise avoided looking at him.

"We have time for coffee downstairs before we head to the courthouse." He was dressed more casually than the night before and his dress jacket still hung draped over the back of the chair. "I need to hang this up." Adam reached for the jacket when there was a knock at the door. Eloise rose to answer it.

"Wait," Adam said, "I'll get it. It might be Cross."

"Then I should get it, shouldn't I?" Eloise almost had the door knob in her hand.

"You never listen to anyone, do you?' Adam stood behind Eloise as she opened the door and then he was pushed backwards as Eloise was shoved against him. Adam pulled Eloise away and turned to protect her as three men forced their way into the room, closing the door behind them. Adam faced them and then he saw the massive fist. "As big as Hoss' " ran through Adam's mind, as it struck him in the face and excruciating pain ran from his jaw up through his eye socket. Adam stumbled backwards and another fist struck upward into his solar plexus and he doubled over. He felt a heavy arm come down on the back of his neck and he fell onto the floor. He tried to curl up to protect himself from the repeated kicks to his ribs but then his kidneys became vulnerable and his whole body shook with pain.

Eloise began to scream but a man grabbed her up with one arm around her waist. Eloise felt a hand clamp over her mouth and nose. She struggled violently, clawing at his hand and trying to kick but the man lifted her in the air and she felt herself become lightheaded. And then she fainted while the other two men continued to kick Adam as he groaned on the floor.

Eloise awoke on the sofa; her head was pounding and she initially had trouble focusing her eyes. She was puzzled at first. Adam was lying on his stomach on the floor, his hands tied behind his back and his legs bound together with strips of a sheet.

A man sat on the chair from the secretary, a gun held loosely in his hand was by her. "It's about time you finally came around," he said to her. "I thought we'd have to throw water in your face and that would be such a shame. You have such a pretty face."

"I know you," Eloise said. "You were…you would come see my husband, Thomas."

"Ah. You do have a good memory and that may very well be your undoing. And his as well." The man motioned to Adam who also had a gag in his mouth.

"Him? He has nothing to do with this. He's just a friend who came along to keep me safe."

"Well, he obviously failed, didn't he?" The three men all chuckled at the little joke.

"I'm afraid I didn't listen to him." Eloise said. "Let him go. He knows nothing about any of this. I just told him I was inheriting money."

"At the desk, they have you registered as Mr. And Mrs. Cartwright. You saying he's not your husband?"

"No. We lied to save money on a room."

"From the looks of that bed and that sheet we tore into strips, you two are more than just friends." The man leaned forward and leered at her.

"So what if we are? That has nothing to do with you. How did you find me and what do you want?"

"Bukowski over there," the man motioned to the large man who had struck Adam at the door. "Well, he likes French food, believe it or not. Well, he was enjoying his meal last night when it seems that he saw a woman dressed all in blue at his favorite French restaurant and guess who it was?" He grinned at her. "According to him, you attracted everyone's attention. Really, a big mistake on your part. And it was so easy just to follow you back to the hotel and ask the clerk who the beautiful woman was. But Bukowski was told that you were married-a Mrs. Adam Cartwright. The rest was easy."

"What do you want from me?" Eloise was terrified of the three men, not just for herself but for Adam as well. The memory of her husband with his throat slit made her fear for Adam.

"We want the money that your husband stole from us."

Eloise thought for a moment. "I can't get to it," she said. "I tried to yesterday. I asked Mr. Cartwright to come with me. I never told him how much money there was in the account or the truth of how it came to be. I told him that it was left to me by my father-I only promised him fifty dollars if he'd come with me and help me and he accepted but now I find that the account has been frozen and I can't get to any of it. I'm going to have to leave Chicago without it."

"Mrs. Logan, there has to be a way for you to get it. Now this Cartwright, you don't want to see him dead, do you?"

"Not really," Eloise said as calmly as she could, "but if I have to give him to you to save myself I will."

The man laughed. "You are a cold little bitch, aren't you? Spread your legs for a man at night and ready to see him dead the next morning."

Eloise wanted to know his name; she very well might need it. "Who are you, by the way?" Eloise asked.

"Why not tell you. I'm Archie Carter. This is Bukowski, and this fine gentleman," Carter pointed to the third man, "is Maroney. Now, what you're going to do is go downstairs and out the front door and turn left; we'll catch up with you. You're not going to say anything to the clerk or anyone else on your way out. And when we do catch up with you, you're coming with us without protest. Do you understand?"

"Where are we going?" Eloise listened as Adam tried to say something through his gag but Bukowski kicked him violently in the ribs and Eloise saw his body twist in pain and moans escaped from the gag over his mouth.

"I understand." Eloise rose and looking in the wall mirror, put on her hat that had been on the desk; she hoped they wouldn't notice her shaking hands. Eloise picked up her reticule but still felt light-headed. "What about him?" She nodded toward Adam. "He really has nothing to do with this."

"But he saw us, didn't he, Mrs. Logan. We can't have that."

"Why not bring him with us then? I mean you can't very well kill him here." Eloise was desperate to save Adam. Better that he was left trussed up than killed.

Carter laughed. "No, he has to die. And I bet he worked so hard to please you." Carter moved closer to Eloise and tilted her chin. "Well, at least he'll die with pleasant memories. Trust me, I'm more of a man than he is. I can tumble you every way you can imagine."

"Carter," Maroney said, "maybe we should bring him with us. Someone's going to find him and Bukowski talked to the night clerk; the clerk'll remember him, big as he is—and ugly too. And I asked for their room. The day clerk will remember me. We can get rid of him later; dump him in the river."

Carter stood and thought for a moment, staring at Eloise. He watched her face but she was expressionless. "This is against my better judgment but we'll take him. Get him ready."

And the two men, one on each side of Adam, hefted him up and dragged him to a chair where they shoved him down. His gag was removed and his hands were untied. Adam reached down to untie his legs and winced. Her sat back and took as deep a breath as he could. Adam knew that he probably had some broken or cracked ribs and his lower back was sore; his kidneys were screaming at him and his jaw was pulsing where he had been struck.

"Let me," Eloise said to Carter and she kneeled before Adam and untied the strip of cloth tied and wrapped in a figure eight around his booted ankles. And then Eloise stood up before Adam and their eyes met. Eloise tried to convey what she felt, how grateful she was that he had tried to intervene-and that she loved him. But only a few seconds passed between them before Carter pulled her away.

"Get your jacket and hat on," Carter said to Adam, "and don't try any heroics. I wanted to kill you now, remember? And I still do. Let's go." Carter waved the gun at Adam.

"Wait a moment," Eloise said after Adam put on his hat. "He has blood on his mouth. He can't go out looking that way." Adam's jaw was turning purple from the blow and his lip was split and swollen.

"Fine. Clean him up but hurry," Carter said.

Eloise rushed to the washroom to dampen a cloth and Adam looked at the clock. It was almost eight. Eloise returned and with a wet flannel, she dabbed the blood off Adam's lip and chin. He winced slightly and Eloise turned to Carter and Adam felt her reticule swing against him; it was heavy, too heavy for the usual contents of a woman's handbag.

With Adam and Eloise leading by at least ten feet, the five people walked out of the hotel and onto the busy Chicago street and Adam whispered to Eloise. "Wait for the right time and be ready." And he slid an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him as they walked down the side of the street. And Eloise reached into her bag and removed Adam's gun and quickly slipped it into his waistband under his jacket and then she heard Carter's voice behind them.

"Just keep walking," he said to them. And they did.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Adam noticed the changes in the streets they turned down; the buildings and people on the streets indicated that they were getting into the less reputable part of Chicago. The roads which had been cobblestone were now dirt. But earlier in the busy downtown streets, Adam had attracted the attention of the people who passed them with the purple swelling in his jaw that had even traveled to his eye, closing it slightly. But now, they saw few people, mainly men, and they barely even glanced at Adam. And Eloise could hear Adam's painful breathing. She feared for him and he stumbled once and Eloise slipped her arm around his waist to hold him up.

"Get going," Carter ordered.

"He needs to rest," Eloise said. "He's in pain. Can't you see that?"

Bukowksi who had done the most damage to Adam, laughed. "He should be in pain after what I did to him. But rest your mind, little lady, he'll be out of his misery soon enough. Soon's we get to the waterfront, just a shot to the back of the head and into the drink."

"Let him rest," Eloise begged. "Please. Just let him rest against the wall for a few moments." Adam's breath was ragged and he struggled to breathe shallowly; he knew that he was badly injured. But there was Eloise to think of.

"Just for a minute," Carter said. "But you back away from him."

Eloise stepped back slightly as Carter motioned with his gun. Eloise was surprised to see Carter pull out a gun on a city street but there were few people to see him do so, only a few women sitting on grey porches holding infants and a few children playing on the street. But she was the only one to register surprise. The other people just dropped their eyes and looked away. One women called to some children and they all went into the building. The other women also stood up and with their children in their arms, went inside as well.

"I have to take a…" Adam glanced at Eloise, remembering she was there. "I have to relieve myself."

"Go against the wall like everyone else," Carter said.

Adam glanced again at Eloise and turned and after adjusting his clothes, leaned against the building, supporting himself with an outstretched arm.

Eloise turned her head at the sound of urine hitting against the wall and she heard Maroney say, "Look, he's pissing red."

"Guess you did a damn good job on him," Carter said, turning to the other two men and the three laughed together. And then Eloise heard the sound of a gunshot.

Eloise quickly turned and Adam held the gun she had slipped in his waistband and Carter lay on the filthy sidewalk the stream of bloody urine trickling toward him and a black hole in his chest. Adam half leaned on the wall, holding the gun on the two other men who had made motions to pull their guns. "Don't," Adam said. "I'll shoot you down like mad dogs. Understand?"

Maroney and Bukowski nodded.

"Drop your guns on the ground, one at a time." Adam motioned to Maroney who was behind Bukowski. "Nice and slow." The two men did as Adam directed, first Maroney and then Bukowski. "Eloise, stand back-away from us." Eloise didn't think she could move, she was so frightened, but somehow, she managed to do as Adam asked and moved a few feet away from the three men. "Now go," Adam said to them, "both of you. Run like hell or I swear I'll cut you down."

The two men took off running, Maroney only looking back once, and Adam watched them go. Then Adam's arm dropped, he leaned against the wall, his face pale. Eloise ran to him.

"Adam, Adam," Eloise put her arm around his waist and tried to help him stand upright but he was so heavy that she struggled. "Why did you let them go?"

"Oh, Eloise. Do you really think that I could've taken them? I don't even know that I can get myself back to the hotel. Would you button me up? I can't go walking around with my pants undone." Adam gave a weak chuckle.

Eloise quickly buttoned his trousers and they started back the way they had come and Adam struggled to keep on his feet, having to lean more on Eloise than he wanted; she was having difficulty supporting his weight and he towered over her.

"You're not going to die are you?" Eloise was close to crying; this was too much for her. But she had to help him so she struggled supporting him.

"I hope not," Adam said, "but to be honest, right now with the way I feel, it'd be a relief."

They had managed almost a block when Eloise heard a cart or wagon coming behind them. She stopped and turned slightly. It looked like a coal wagon on its round of deliveries. "Please," she cried out. "Please help us! Please! There's been an accident!"

The man pulled up his horse and stared at the man and the beautiful woman. He had seen a dead man lying on the sidewalk about a block before and saw that two young boys were going through the corpse's pockets so he had just continued to drive. But there may be a profit in helping this man and woman; she had on nice clothes and a lovely hat although it was a bit off kilter and her hair was coming down from her up-do. But he had an eye for class, he always told his wife, and he could tell these two people were not of his ilk; they were of the upper sort. Why the woman even had all her teeth still.

"What be it you need?" the man asked.

"Can you take us to the Majesty Hotel? Please. I'll pay you five dollars." Eloise was desperate, Adam was having trouble standing and his head was beginning to loll.

The man looked at them suspiciously. "The man, he looks ill. Not cholera nor such, is it."

"No, nothing like that. It's been an accident as I said. I'll give you ten dollars, just please help us!"

The man thought for a few more seconds and after locking the wheels of his wagon, he jumped down and helped Eloise drag Adam to the back of the cart where he and Eloise lay Adam down in the bed that was coated with coal dust. Eloise started to climb in with him.

"It's cleaner to ride up front with me," the man said.

"Thank you but I'll ride back here. The Majesty Hotel-quickly please."

The man tipped his cap to Eloise and then climbed back on his seat. And he hurried as Eloise had asked but with every bump and thump of the wagon's wheels, Adam groaned and winced.

"It won't be long now," Eloise said as she held Adam's hand and stroked his face. "We'll have you in bed soon."

Adam grinned up at her. "Eloise, had I known this was all it took to bed you, I would've had the hell beaten out of me as soon as we met."

Eloise realized he was joking, trying to stem her worry so she smiled back. "Oh, Adam." And she stroked his hair and he looked up at her with gratitude.

The driver of the coal wagon helped Eloise support Adam as they entered the hotel lobby where the clerk made a fuss; having people covered in coal dust and bringing in a man who looked dead caused everyone in the lobby to gasp and move away and wasn't good for the hotel's reputation. So along with the bellboy and the clerk, they managed to quickly get Adam into the room and finally into bed where Adam let himself slide into the comfort of darkness.

Eloise asked the clerk to send up a doctor, quickly. He said that he would and he and the bellboy left.

"You promised me ten dollars, ma'am," the driver said.

"Yes," Eloise said, "I did." She couldn't think. Where was her reticule? But she knew she didn't have ten dollars in it anyway. She wrung her hands and then she felt the wedding band from Thomas. She quickly worked the ring off her finger and gave it to the man.

"But ma'am," he said.

"It's worth more than ten dollars. Please take it-and thank you for your kindness."

The man looked at the gold band in his hand. "If you're sure, ma'am…"

"Yes, I'm sure." The man tipped his hat to Eloise and left but once he was out of her sight, he bit slightly on the ring and was pleased to see mild indentations left from his teeth. He knew where he could sell the ring to get the most money. He thought how odd it was that one's man's misery could mean another man's pleasure-a night at the local saloon for him and his friends, drinking and gambling away the price of a gold wedding band.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Adam opened his eyes; his mind was clearer than it had been the past few days but thoughts were still blurred about the edges. He lay and recalled all that had happened. He knew he had been beaten badly by Bukowski and Maroney-despite the fuzziness in his head, their names and faces he remembered. He also remembered how Eloise had managed to get him on a cart of some type and back to the hotel. And Adam vaguely remembered a doctor examining him and how painful it was to have his clothes removed so the doctor cut them away. And Eloise. Yes. He remembered the doctor talking to Eloise and discussing his bruised and broken ribs and injured kidneys. And Adam also remembered Eloise's worried face when she had leaned over him and pushed his hair off his face. Adam also could recall how he would wake up and Eloise was there helping him to sit up so he could drink the bitter laudanum.

Adam threw an arm over his forehead. Eloise. He remembered her kissing his forehead after she would come in at night to check on him. She would light the lamp and place her cool hand on his cheek to check him. And Adam remembered talking to her and Eloise soothed him when she would sit on the side of the bed and tuck the covers up around him and tell him that he would be all right-the doctor had said so. And one night when the pain kept him from sleeping even with a dose of laudanum, she had sung a song to him, a silly song that a mother would sing to a child but it had calmed him and he fell asleep.

And voices of men in the outer room; Adam remembered those. He and Eloise had never made it to the courthouse and maybe the authorities had arrested Eloise. He remembered how he had tried to get up then; he had been afraid they would take her away, arrest her so he had tried to get up but the pain that had shot through him made it impossible and he couldn't feel his feet under him. He had slid down against the side of the bed and landed heavily on the floor, holding his breath as the pain flooded him. Eloise and another man came in and they put him back in bed and Adam remembered grasping at her, asking Eloise if she was alright. But Adam wondered if she was still here. Even if they hadn't arrested her, maybe Eloise had run as she had threatened.

"Eloise?" Adam called out as loudly as he could and felt a pain shoot through his chest as he tried to sit up.

"What are you doing yelling?" Eloise scolded as she came into the bedroom. "You need to rest. Now lie back down."

Adam did as she ordered and he was relieved to see her, never taking his eyes off her face. "Eloise, how many days have I been this way?"

"What way? If you mean a stubborn jackass, I suspect it's been all your life. If you mean being more or less out of it, almost three days."

Adam grinned. "You look very pretty." He knew it was a foolish thing to say considering the situation but she did look pretty.

"Thank you," Eloise said quietly as she fiddled with the covers and adjusted them over and over again. "You're looking better. How are you feeling?"

"Well, I'm still alive so I suppose that's feeling better."

"Good." Eloise reached out and felt his face. "I think your fever's broken. Are you thirsty? Hungry? You haven't eaten much. I tried to get you to drink some broth but you didn't take much."

"I'd like some water." Adam carefully pushed himself up to rest against the headboard, breaking into a sweat at the exertion. Eloise handed him a glass and Adam gulped it down and held out his glass. "May I have more?" Eloise refilled it while Adam watched her. He remembered what it had been like to hold her next to him, their bare skin touching and how she had kissed him and wound herself around him. "Eloise?"

Eloise, holding the glass in her hand, looked at him. "What?"

Adam lost his courage; he was going to ask her if she loved him but didn't. "What about the money and the federal authorities? We never made it to the courthouse."

"Oh, that." Eloise watched Adam drink. "The police came-or whoever they were, with Mr. Cross, and since the doctor was still here, I led them to Carter. He was still on the sidewalk with dogs sniffing around him. Anyway, when we came back, they questioned me while Mr. Cross tried to give me advice. But, Adam, I told them everything. I gave them names and they seemed satisfied, talked among each other about arresting me but Mr. Cross convinced them that I wasn't, how did he put it? Oh yes, a flight risk. I can't leave Chicago until they've finished with me."

Adam chuckled. "It just shows how little Mr. Cross knows you."

"That's not fair, Adam. Well, I suppose in a way it is. I did consider running and if you hadn't been in such a bad state, well, I couldn't leave you here alone like this." Eloise sat on the edge of the bed and picked at the coverlet.

"Thank you, for that." Adam reached out for her hand. "Where's your ring?"

Eloise drew her hand away. "I paid the coal man with it. For helping us. I gave it to him."

Adam and Eloise looked at one another, each considering the risk of what they would say next.

"You shouldn't have, Eloise. I imagine that it meant quite a bit to you."

"Adam," Eloise stared to reply to him but Adam stopped her.

"Eloise, if you want a divorce or an annulment, I understand. I won't contest it."

Eloise swallowed deeply to keep tears from welling. "I don't want a divorce, Adam. But if you do, if you want to put me aside for someone else, someone better suited for you…"

"Oh, Eloise. I don't want anyone else."

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes, I mean it. I think we can learn not to hurt each other so much. Besides, I think that I love this Eloise sitting before me now even more than I had loved you and that was quite deeply. The brave, courageous, caring Eloise; the Eloise who didn't desert me in my time of need." Adam reached over and touched her cheek gently. "And I do love you, Eloise. Despite the way I've behaved, I do."

"Oh, Adam. I found that because of you, I can do things that I didn't think I could ever do. You gave me courage. And as for your love for me? It may sound silly but I realized that I had shut down my emotions after so much pain, that I didn't want to feel anything but you made me realize that life is about feeling things. I have you to thank for that, Adam. You brought me back to life and for that and even more, I love you-you saved me. And now I have no regrets because everything in my past led me to you."

Adam smiled. "You know, Eloise," he said with a half-grin, "I think that you've become quite a force to be reckoned with." And he reached for her. Eloise moved closer to Adam. He put out his arms and she scooted closer and placed her head on his chest. "Oh, gently, gently," he said and then placed his arms around her protectively.

"You and me, Adam," Eloise whispered as she listened to his heart beat. "We'll be more of a force together."

And Adam laughed gently and bent his head to kiss her soft, sweet-smelling hair. "You and me together, Eloise. You and me together."

~Finis~


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